child: daddy daddy, what do u want to use that axe f..

child: daddy daddy, can we play with granny again ?
daddy: okay, but thats the last time we dig her up.

child: daddy daddy, what are we doing out here by the weeeeeeeeeel...
*splash*

child: daddy daddy, I do not like granny !
daddy: shut up kid and stop playing with the food.

child: daddy daddy, aren't we in england yet !
daddy: shut up kid and keep on swimming.

child: daddy daddy, why do mommy have an X on her back ?
daddy: shut up kid and reload.


=WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SHOOT A BLACK MAN RIDING A BIKE?
YOU GET YOUR BIKE BACK.

=WHY DOES RAY CHARLES ONLY HAVE A LEFT NUT?
'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHT ONE, BABY.

=WHAT ARE THE 2 WORST WORDS A BLACK PERSON CAN SAY TO YOU???
"HI NEIGHBOR!"

=HOW DO YOU STOP A BLACK MAN FROM DROWNING?
TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF HIS HEAD!  SECOND PRIZE: PUT A ROCK IN THE WATER!

=JESSE JACKSON CALLS GEORGE AT THE WHITE HOUSE AND SAYS "GEORGE, I
UNDERSTAND THAT ALL OF THE WASHING MACHINES AT THE WHITE HOUSE ARE
WHITE." GEORGE RESPONDS,"I DUNNO JESSE, LET ME CHECK IT OUT AND I'LL
CALL YOU BACK." NEXT DAY GEORGE CALLS JESSE BACK AND SAYS,"JESSE,
YOU WERE RIGHT. I CHECKED IT OUT AND ALL THE WASHING MACHINES AT THE
WHITE HOUSE ARE WHITE, BUT ALL THE AGITATORS ARE BLACK!"

=A BLACK MAN IS VISITING CHINA WHEN HE SEES A COUPLE GO UP TO A
FOUNTAIN AND THROW IN A COIN.  IT ECHOS "CHING CHANG CHING".  HE
ASKS THEM WHY THEY DID THIS AND THEY SAID, "THE ECHO SHOWS YOUR
HERITAGE!"  SO THE BLACK MAN THREW IN A COIN AND THE SOUND CAME
BACK... "CHIM PAN ZEE".

=WHY DO THEY CALL HIM MAGIC JOHNSON?
"MY ASS GOT INFECTED COACH!"

=HOW DID DAVID COPPERFIELD CATCH AIDS?
FROM PLAYING AROUND WITH MAGIC.

=HOW DID MAGIC GET AIDS?
HE HAD TOO MUCH KAREEM IN HIS COFFEE.

=WHY IS MAGIC JOHNSON'S WIFE LIKE A SPIDER EGG?
THEY BOTH WILL BECOME BLACK WIDOWS.

=WHY DOESN'T MAGIC FUCK HIS WIFE ANYMORE?
BECAUSE SHE IS NOT WORTHY.

=HOW DID MAGIC GET AIDS?  HE BLEW A PISTON.

=WHAT DO MAGIC AND LEN BIAS HAVE IN COMMON?
THEY BOTH GOT AHOLD OF SOME BAD CRACK.

=WHAT DID OPRAH WINFREY'S HUSBAND SAY WHEN OPRAH ASKED TO TRY A
NEW POSITION?
HOW NOW BROWN COW?

=A BLACK MAN ASKED A GOOD-LOOKING WHITE WOMAN, "LET'S PLAY THE
ROAD GAME!" "WHAT'S THAT?" SHE SAID.  "YOU LAY DOWN AND I'LL
BLACKTOP YOU!"

=WHY DON'T BLACK WOMEN MAKE GOOD NUNS?
THEY CAN'T SAY "SUPERIOR" AFTER "MOTHER".

=WHAT IS "FEE FI FO FEE FI FO FO"?
A BLACK GUY'S PHONE NUMBER!

=WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLACK PUSSY AND A BOWLING BALL?
YOU CAN EAT A BOWLING BALL.

=WHAT COLOR IS A NIGGER AFTER YOU RUN OVER HIM IN THE STREET?
FLAT BLACK.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL 10 NIGGERS ON A WHITE GUY?
A FAIR FIGHT.

=WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A NIGGER WITH A GORILLA?
A DUMBER GORILLA.

=WHAT DOES IT SAY INSIDE A NIGGER'S LIPS?
"INFLATE TO 20 PSI."

=HOW MANY NIGGERS DOES IT TAKE TO PAVE A DRIVEWAY?
IT DEPENDS ON HOW THIN YOU SLICE THEM.

=WHAT DOES HARLEM HAVE IN COMMON WITH FLORSHEIM?
10,000 BLACK LOAFERS.

=WHY DON'T NIGGERS LIKE CONVERTIBLES?
BECAUSE THEIR LIPS FLAP IN THE WIND.

=WHAT DO YOU HAVE WHEN YOU PUT 10,000 BLACKS AT THE BOTTOM OF
THE OCEAN?
A GOOD START.

=WHY DOES A BLACK MAN USUALLY KEEP HIS FLY OPEN?
IN CASE HE HAS TO COUNT TO ELEVEN.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR NIGGERS IN A CADILLAC?
GRAND THEFT AUTO.

=WHAT DOES "PONTIAC" STAND FOR IN HARLEM?
POOR OLD NIGGER THINKS IT'S A CADILLAC.

=WHAT DID JESSE JACKSON SAY ABOUT THE ABORTION BILL?
"THE CHECK'S IN THE MAIL."

=DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE 4 NEW LEGAL HOLIDAYS PROPOSED FOR BLACKS?
1. REGGIE JACKSON DAY.  2. MICHAEL JACKSON DAY.  3. JESSE JACKSON DAY.
4. SEPTEMBER 21, THE DAY NEW CADILLACS COME OUT.

=A PLANE IN THE AIR IS ABOUT TO CRASH.  ON THE PLANE IS JESSE JACKSON,
THE PRESIDENT OF THE U.S., A PRIEST AND A SCHOOL BOY.  THERE ARE ONLY 3
PARACHUTES LEFT ON THE PLANE.  AS THE PLANE IS GOING DOWN, THE PRESIDENT
SAYS "I'M THE SMARTEST WHITE MAN IN AMERICA!"  HE JUMPS OUT WITH A
PARACHUTE. JESSE JACKSON SAYS "I'M THE SMARTEST BLACK MAN IN AMERICA!"
HE JUMPS OUT WITH THE 2ND.  THERE IS ONLY 1 PARACHUTE LEFT NOW.  THE
PRIEST THEN SAYS TO THE KID..."LISTEN, CHILD.  I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE
AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE A CHANCE TO LIVE YOURS.  YOU TAKE THE LAST
PARACHUTE."  THE KID SAYS,  "DON'T WORRY, WE CAN BOTH HAVE A PARACHUTE,
THE SMARTEST BLACK MAN IN AMERICA JUST TOOK MY SCHOOL BAG!"

=THE DIRTIEST WORD IN HARLEM AND WATTS?  WORK.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK MAN IN THAILAND?  A TYCOON.

=WHAT'S THE MOST CONFUSING DAY IN HARLEM?  FATHER'S DAY.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK MAN IN A TREE?  A BRANCH MANAGER.

=THE 2 MOST FAMOUS BLACK WOMEN IN HISTORY?
AUNT JEMIMA AND MUTHA FUCKA.

=WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A NIGGER WITH AN IRISHMAN?
A LEPRACOON.

=THE MOST POPULAR BRAND OF LIPSTICK FOR BLACKS?  MOP AND GLOW.

=WHAT DO THEY DO WITH DEAD BLACKS IN FLORIDA?
THEY SKIN THEM AND USE THEM FOR WET SUITS.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK SMURF?  A SMIGGER.

=WHY DOES GEORGIA HAVE BLACKS AND CALIFORNIA HAVE EARTHQUAKES?
CALIFORNIA HAD FIRST PICK.

=HOW DO YOU TELL IF A BLACK HAS BEEN SHOT IN THE HEAD?
BY THE HOLE IN HIS GHETTO BLASTER.

=WHY DID THE BLACK NOT WANT TO MARRY A MEXICAN?
HE DIDN'T WANT HIS KIDS TO GROW UP TOO LAZY TO STEAL.

=WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU CROSS A BLACK WITH A GREEK?
A GUY WHO DOESN'T MIND RIDING IN THE BACK OF THE BUS.

=WHAT'S BLACK, HAS WHITE EYES AND KNOCKS ON GLASS?
A NIGGER IN A MICROWAVE.

=WHY DON'T BLACKS LIKE BLOW JOBS?
THEY DON'T LIKE JOBS PERIOD.

=WHERE DID VANESSA WILLIAMS' PARENTS POSE NUDE?
NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC.

=WHY DO BLACKS ALWAYS HAVE SEX ON THEIR MINDS?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE PUBIC HAIR GROWING ON THEIR HEADS.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK WOMAN WITH BRACES?
A BLACK & DECKER PECKER WRECKER.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BUNCH OF BLACKS BURIED IN A FIELD UP TO THEIR NECKS?
AFROTURF.

=IN THE DEPRESSION, 2 DARKIES WERE SCREWIN' ON THE RAILROAD TRACKS
WHEN A TRAIN APPROACHED.  CRIED THE MAN TO THE TRAIN, "I'S A COMIN',
YOUSE A COMIN', BUT YOUSE THE ONE WITH THE BRAKES!"

=WHAT'S LONG, BLACK & SMELLY?
AN UNEMPLOYMENT LINE IN THE U.S.

=WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BLACK WITH A SIOUX INDIAN?
A SIOUX NAMED BOY.

=WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BLACK GUY WITH A JAPANESE GUY?
A GUY WHO HAS AN UNCONTROLLABLE URGE ON DEC. 7TH TO ATTACK PEARL BAILEY.

=WHY DO BLACKS KEEP CHICKENS?
TO TEACH THEIR KIDS HOW TO WALK.

=HOW DO YOU MAKE A BLACK PERSON NERVOUS?
TAKE HIM TO AN AUCTION.

=WHY DID GOD INVENT THE CLIMAX?
SO NIGGERS WOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP FUCKING.

=THE DEFINITION OF WORTHLESS?
A 7' BLACK WITH A 4" PRICK WHO CAN'T PLAY BASKETBALL.

=WHY DO BLACKS WEAR WIDE-BRIMMED HATS?
SO PIGEONS CAN'T SHIT ON THEIR LIPS.

=WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BLACK WITH A GROUNDHOG?
SIX MORE WEEKS OF BASKETBALL SEASON.

=HOW DO WE KNOW THAT ADAM AND EVE WEREN'T BLACK?
EVER TRY TO TAKE RIBS AWAY FROM A BLACK?

=DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE LITTLE BLACK KID WHO HAD DIARRHEA?
HE THOUGHT HE WAS MELTING.

=IF A WAC IS A WHITE WOMAN IN THE ARMY, WHAT IS A BLACK WOMAN IN THE ARMY
CALLED?
A WACCOON.

=WHY DID THE BLACK KID HAVE THE BIGGEST DICK IN 5TH GRADE?  HE WAS 21.

=WHAT DO BLACK PEOPLE CALL THE EASTER BUNNY?  DINNER.

=DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW BLACK FRENCH RESTAURANT?
IT'S CALLED CHEZ WHAT?

=WHAT DO YOU CALL 4 BLACKS IN A '57 CHEVY?  A BLOOD VESSEL.

=WHAT'S BLACK AND SHINES IN THE DARK?  OAKLAND.

=WHAT DID LINCOLN SAY AFTER HIS 5-DAY DRUNK?  "I FREED WHO?"

=WHY DO BLACKS LIKE TO WEAR WHITE GLOVES?
SO THEY WON'T BITE OFF THEIR FINGERS EATING TOOTSIE ROLLS.

=WHY DO BLACK MEN HAVE SUCH NARROW HIPS?
SO THE ROASTING POLE WON'T WOBBLE.

=WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE, BLACK AND WHITE, AND BLACK, WHITE AND RED?
A NIGGER AND A PELICAN FIGHTING OVER A CARP.

=WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU PUT ODOR EATERS IN A BLACK'S SHOES?
HALF A MILE DOWN THE ROAD YOU GET A GOLD TOOTH, RADIO, AND A
PAIR OF TENNIS SHOES.

=WHAT DOES THE "N" STAND FOR IN ATLANTA'S SPELMAN (BLACK) COLLEGE?
"NOWLEDGE".

=WHAT DID BUCKWHEAT (OF LITTLE RASCALS' FAME) CALL HIMSELF WHEN HE
BECAME A BASKETBALL PLAYER?
KAREEM A'WHEAT.

=WHY ARE THE PALMS AND SOLES OF BLACK PEOPLE WHITE?
THEY WERE SPRAY-PAINTED WHILE ASSUMING THE POSITION.

=WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT AN ETHIOPIAN BLOWJOB?
YOU KNOW SHE'LL SWALLOW.

=HOW DO YOU GET RID OF A BUNCH OF LIBYANS?
TELL A BUNCH OF CAJUNS THEY'RE GOOD EATING AND OUT OF SEASON.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A WHITE COCK IN A BLACK PUSSY?
BLONDE WITH BLACK ROOTS.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A WHITE COCK IN A BLACK PUSSY?
BLACKENED WHITEFISH.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A WHITE COCK IN A BLACK PUSSY?
REVERSE EVOLUTION.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A WHITE COCK IN A BLACK PUSSY?
WHITE FLIGHT TO THE SUBHUMANS.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK COCK IN A WHITE PUSSY?
FORCED INTEGRATION.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK COCK IN A WHITE PUSSY?
TURD IN THE SNOW.  SECOND PRIZE: CIGAR IN THE SAND.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK COCK IN A WHITE PUSSY?
A TIGHT FIT.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK COCK IN A WHITE PUSSY?
PAYING FOR WHITE GUILT.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK COCK IN A WHITE PUSSY?
A WELL-FED CAT.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN A BLACK MAN RAPES A WHITE WOMAN?
FORCED BUSSING.

=WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN A WHITE MAN RAPES A BLACK WOMAN?
STOCKING THE PLANTATION.

=WHO WON THE RACE DOWN THE TUNNEL, THE BLACK OR THE POLLOCK?
THE POLLOCK, BECAUSE THE BLACK HAD TO STOP AND WRITE "MOTHERFUCKER"
ON THE WALL.

=THE DEFINITION OF AN AFRICAN MOMEBACK?
THE BLACK THAT RIDES ON THE BACK OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK YELLING,
"MOMEBACK, MOMEBACK!"

=WHY DO BLACK PEOPLE SMELL?
SO BLIND PEOPLE CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE TOO.

=WHY DID GOD INVENT GOLF?
SO THAT WHITE PEOPLE COULD DRESS UP LIKE BLACKS.

=WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER?
AN INTERRACIAL COUPLE IN AN AUTO WRECK.

=THE DEFINITION OF BLACK FOREPLAY?
DON'T SCREAM OR I'LL KILL YOU.

=WHY IS THE PUBIC HAIR OF A NEGRESS AS STIFF AS A WIRE BRUSH?
SO SHE CAN DO HOUSEWORK AT THE LOCAL STREAM.

=THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MICHAEL JACKSON AND RICHARD PRYOR?
RICHARD GOT BURNED BY COKE AND MICHAEL GOT BURNED BY PEPSI.

=DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW ORGANIZATION MICHAEL JACKSON AND
RICHARD PRYOR ARE FORMING?  IT'S CALLED THE IGNITED NEGRO COLLEGE FUND.

=WHY DO SOME WHITE CHICKS PREFER BLACK MEN?
FOR THE SAME REASON THAT SOME BLACK CHICKS PREFER HORSES.

=WHAT HAS 10 LEGS AND SAYS "HODEDO HODEDO"?
FIVE BLACKS RUNNING FOR AN ELEVATOR.

=WHY DO BLACKS LIKE WATERMELON?
THEY FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING BIG ENOUGH TO USE THOSE LIPS ON.

=WHY DO BLACKS LIKE CHITLINS?
THEY ARE USED TO ROPES.

=WHY DO BLACKS LIKE RIBS?
THE SAUCE PAINTS THEIR FACES RED.

=WHY DID THE NIGGER CROSS THE ROAD?
HE SMELLED CHICKEN.

=HOW DID THE NIGGER CROSS THE ROAD?
ON ANOTHER NIGGER'S SPEAR.

=WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NIGGER AND A TIRE?
A TIRE DOESN'T SING WHEN YOU PUT CHAINS ON IT.

=WHY DON'T BLACK BABIES LIKE TO PLAY IN SANDBOXES?
BECAUSE CATS KEEP TRYING TO COVER THEM UP.

=WHY DON'T THEY CIRCUMCIZE NIGGERS?
BECAUSE THERE'S NO END TO THOSE PRICKS.

=WHAT DID THE BLACK MAN DO AFTER HE CAUGHT A WHITE WOMAN'S BABY
SHE THREW OUT OF THE WINDOW DURING A FIRE?
SPIKED IT ON THE GROUND AND SHOUTED "TOUCHDOWN!"

=THE 3 GREATEST LIES?
THE CHECK'S IN THE MAIL, BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL, AND I WON'T
CUM IN YOUR MOUTH.

=WHY AREN'T THERE ANY BLACK SKIERS?
BECAUSE THEIR LIPS EXPLODE AT HIGH ALTITUDE.

=WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A NIGGER WITH A MONKEY?
NOTHING, NO MONKEY IS DUMB ENOUGH TO FUCK A NIGGER.
=A NIGGER, A FRENCHMAN, A GERMAN, AND A POLLOCK WERE SITTING IN A BAR.
"I LIKE TO FUCK WHITE WOMEN!" SAID THE NIGGER.  "THAT'S GRAND!" SAID
THE FRENCHMAN. "GUT FOR YOU!" SAID THE GERMAN.  "I DON'T BLAME YOU,"
SAID THE POLLOCK, "I DON'T LIKE FUCKING THOSE BLACK ONES EITHER."

=WHY IS A NIGGER LIKE A MINER?
THEY ARE BOTH LOWER THAN DIRT AND DIG DARK CAVITIES.

=A WHITE WOMAN WAS BEING HIT ON BY A BLACK MAN IN A BAR.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IN CHANGING COLORS" SHE SAID POLITELY.




                YO man I hope this is enough, if not then ask for more!