The Hacker Code v.99b

we're going to release it Real Soon Now

The Hacker code was written because the geek code is concerned all too much with computers.

E - Eat'n Park

if you have an e+p watch add a "w".

E++++ I have been to all the Eat'n Parks in the United States in one week.
E+++ I have been to Eat'n Park 7 times in 7 days.
E++ I have seen scrod ordered at Eat'n Park
E+ I have an Eat'n Park spoon.
E I have been to Eat'n Park.
E- I have heard of Eat'n Park
E-- What's wrong with the Highlander Cafe?
E--- I have tried to burn down Eat'N'Park
E* I used to go there alot and the waitresses used to hit on me, I don't go there much anymore but when i do the staff tells me how much they miss me.

M - Maverick

M++++ Who's Chris?
M+++ Mav has stolen one of my ex-girlfriends.
M++ I have been to Eat'N Park with Mav.
M+ I know Mav.
M I don't know Mav but well i hear stories all the time from my friends who do know him.
M- eeew.
M-- Isn't that Mel Gibson?
M--- Isn't that Tom Cruise?

s - Shawn

s++++ I admire shawn. sort of.
s+++ I have slept with shawn
s++ I have been to sam's with shawn.
s+ Shawn has replied to my e-mail.
s I've been warned about shawn clayton knight.
s- Shawn has stolen one of my ex-girlfriends.
s-- uh huh huh. magic. huh huh.
s--- i am a fluffy bunny wiccan.
s* I am shawn.

m - Max

m+++++ I am Kevin Moore
m++++ I am Max
m+++ I give Max alcohol
m++ I drink with Max
m+ I like Max
m I know who Max is
m- I know who Max is and he's a bastard
m-- I call him Steve
m--- I am determined to crush Max like a bug, leaving him bleeding and broken and then, when he begs for death, calling an ambulance. And then I'll do it again after he recovers. After doing that a few times, I think I'll grind up his body and use it as fishbait, but save his brain and keep it alive and in constant agony for all eternity.
m---- I think Max is cute
!m I am the Antimax
?m who?

R - Ratha

R++++ Most people would say I've gone/am going out with her, but the word 'dating' is evil... we, um, are really good friends...
R+++ I've built a stellated dodecahedron out of $1 bills at eat 'n park with her, or been there
R++ My sigil is painted on her wall
R+ She's in my .anyone
R I've met Chris, and am vaguely aware of her pseudonym
R- She's a confused, uninteresting transformers weenie.
R-- She dresses funny, her tail is stupid, and her taste in music sucks. Why is she in hacker?
!R I don't know her at all, and probably don't care
R* I am Ratha... at least, on days when there are too many Chrises.

q - Mav's Barbecue

q++++ I flew in from london to attend Mav's barbecue.
q+++ I stopped it from raining at Mav's barbecue.
q++ I brought food to Mav's barbecue.
q+ I have attended Mav's barbecue.
q I have heard of Mav's barbecue
q- I thought Erik Ogan's ascii map was to scale.
q-- Where's beeler?
q---

e - Eric

e++++ i have seen eric's soul and know why he is insane
e+++ i have listened to eric's radio show more than once
e++ i have read a punisher comic
e+ i have been to a mall with eric
e eric, eh
e- i hate transformers
e-- punisher is a wuss
e--- i spell his name erik
e---- i hate eric

f - Faisal

f++++ I've seen the floor of faisal's bedroom at home
f+++ I've organized a faisal fan club to confuse his ego.
f++ I've slept with faisal
f+ faisal has told me to stop playing Magic
f faisal has asked me to kill him
f- faisal used "nostalgia" or "freshman" to followup a zephyr of mine
f-- I spell faisal 'Faisel'
f--- Don't you think he looks a little like Brandon Lee
f---- Whose faisal? Is he related to Fiz?

P - Prekies

P++++ I am/was a prekie and I'm coming back
P+++ I am a prekie
P++ Former prekies fly in from London to visit me
P+ Some prekies thought they lived at my house
P I've slept in the same bed as a prekie
P- I actually like some prekies
P-- I've met some prekies
P--- I've had to talk to Student Affairs about prekies
P---- I've gotten grumpy about prekies on -c hacker

c - Clusters

Please add all acronyms that have represented Computing Services during your tenure with clusters (i.e. AC/ACS/ITC).

c++++ I've had meetings with Tracy
c+++ I'm a Sandy Slave / Cluman
c++ I'm a ccon
c+ I know some clumen
c I use clusters
c- I only use Mac clusters
c-- I only use PC, and not for DOOM
c--- I have my own machine, I never leave my room
c---- I have my own machine, it doesn't mount afs, and I have my mail forwarded.
!c No, really, I haven't worked for clusters.

C - Channon

C++++ Channon calls me to tell me that she can't call me any more
C+++ Channon calls me to tell me that she misses me
C++ I've slept in the same bed as Channon
C+ We were in the same bed, but I wasn't asleep
C Channon is cool
C- Channon calls me to harrass me
C-- What's with Tink's account
C--- I've slept with Channon
C---- I haven't talk to Channon
!C Who is Channon? Why am I getting all her Zephyrs?

z - Zephyr

z++++ I am Dimitri (vs0r).
z+++ I have implemented a hack in desc I am somewhat proud of.
z++ I use zwgcplus and have a desc file.
z+ I have a .anyone file.
z They didn't mention that in CSW.
z- I can't stand those things popping up all over the place.
z-- Is that like IRC?
!z Doesn't she work for clusters facilities?
z* i read all zephyrs, that which i do not read is not.

T - Transformers

T++++ Optimus warned me that humans would be strange to dwell among.
T+++ I'm on the MUSH, I know the difference between the combaticons and stunticons, I form devastator regularly, etc.,
T++ I have some of the toys, I've read the comic, I liked the movie.
T+ Kind of neat, I might even have some.
T I liked them when I was younger but that was a while back.
T- Only weenies like those things.
T-- Just another example of bad american animation.
T--- He-Man was much better than such rubbish.
T---- Gundam could kick their ass.
!T Are those used in power supplies?

p - Programming

p++++ My code has resulted in the overthrowing of governments in several small east-asian countries.
p+++ People at MIT complain about my code.
p++ I have come to grips with the fact that format is god.
p+ I've taken 211 and I understand why gcc is better than objectcenter.
p I've taken 127 and know how to program basic stuff.
p- Genie Pascal is cool!
p-- zsh is all I need.
p--- If it can't be done in 5 lines of perl it's not worth doing.
!p Computers should only be used to produce spiffy documents in Microsoft Word.
p$ I get paid because some one thinks I can program.

g - Gothness

g++++ I've was run over by a train only after being carded from a goth club or seen it happen.
g+++ I'm fascinated with death, blood, and/or suicide.
g++ I have several black outfits and find the sun hideously obnoxious.
g+ I like the architectural style and think black is pretty cool.
g I'm indifferent to this whole subculture thing.
g- I don't see what's wrong with being somewhat cheery.
g-- I think any group that has a FAQ cannot possibly be gothic.
!g I wear bright happy colors!

3 - Mystery Science Theater 3000 code

3+++++ I purposefully broke my knees to look like Torgo
3++++ I have 50 or more episodes on tape
3+++ I know who Dr. Erhadt is
3++ I have sat through all of "Manos" the Hands of Fate
3+ I know the Gamera theme
3 There should be a newsgroup for this
3- It's real annoying with those guys interrupting the movie
3-- Is this that thing Penn is announcer for?
3--- Aren't they supposed to show bad movies?
!3 Alien From L.A. was better without those guys at the bottom

V - Evil code

V+++++ I once made a graffiti board for ever single Lovecraftian entity
V++++ Doom's portrayal of hell is highly inaccurate
V+++ I've seen every movie Pauly Shore ever made
V++ I can pronounce "Cthulhu"
V+ I sold my soul to cluster services
V I've played 1st edition D&D.
V- Stephen King is pretty scary
V-- The Necronomicon is a real book
V--- Snuff movies exist
V---- IVCF is way too mainstream and toned down for me

w - Workstations

Ok. You gain one rank if the workstation in question is of the One True Platform (sun4_413) and lose one rank if it runs mach and two ranks if it is based on an intel X86 processor.

w++++ I have an edpac in my room.
w+++ I have a workstation on my desk.
w++ I use a workstation daily even though it isn't mine.
w+ I think workstations are cool but all I can afford is a PC/MAC.
w Workstations make cool cluster machines.
w- I have a linux box and think it is a workstation.
w-- I have a DOS box and think it is a workstation.
w--- I have a PowerMac and think it is a workstation.
w* I am Joshua Eli Schachter.

SJG - Staff Job Geekiness

SJG+++ I have a staff job, I don't take classes, I have control over everything from individual machines, to file servers to services (kerberos, afs, www, whatever).
SJG++ I have a staff job, I have my own machine, but I take classes, and I plan to leave this hellhole some time.
SJG+ I have a staff job, but it's not for Computing Services or SCS, and I don't spend all day logged in. No I don't have my own machine, no you can't get in the permits file, no, no, no, piss off.
SJG I have no staff job, but I have friends who have them, and I'm in their permits file so I can log into a machine that isn't slower than molasses going uphill in February.
SJG- I'm a young student. Staff jobs are for old people.
SJG-- I'm a young student. Staff jobs are for old people. People like Mav are therefore old.
SJG--- SJG is the company that publishes "Hacker", right?

ERS - Egyptian Rat Screw

ERS++++ I've played in a tournament. I own a set of rat screw gauntlets.
ERS+++ I slap pairs of everyday objects regularly. I dream of jack-ten pairs.
ERS++ I occaisionally play by myself to improve reflexes.
ERS+ Its on of the more fun legal things to do with a deck of cards...
ERS That's a card game, right?
ERS- You do what with rats?
ERS-- Foolish humans with their plastic coated paper. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
ERS--- Really. Play poker or yahtzee or something that requires real skill.

H - Hacker Code

H+++ ok. ok. when i get really bored i write something because its mildly amusing.
H++ i've submitted something but only to replace the drivel that was already there in my name.
H+ i've actually taken the time to read the whole thing and maybe even write out my code.
H i or an event that i was directly involved in is mentioned in the code.
H- what? sounds a lot less secure than RSA.

Z - Zen

Z+++ mu
Z++ Enlightenment seeks me.
Z+ I seek enlightenment.
Z Yin Yangs are cool.
Z- black is black and white is white comma dammit.
Z-- nirvana is like cool. kurt cobain died for our sins!
Z--- i am

G - Graffiti

G++++ I have gotten mail from jl4l+abuse@andrew about my posts to graffiti.
G+++ I start a flame war once a week just by reading something.
G++ I can go a whole week without creating a bboard. really.
G+ There's a graffiti board named after me.
G I read graffiti.quotes.
G- I'm not subbed to graffiti
G-- I wrote that stuff on the bathroom wall...yeah, it was pretty cool.
G--- GET OFF OUR PRIVATE BBOARD, BITCHZ!
G---- I forward all my mail to a graffiti board

W - Megaweapon

W++++ I saw Warrior of the Lost World not on MST3K
W+++ I frequently crush the hell out of stuff
W++ I have a sleek black frame
W+ I once went to a monster truck rally
W I always broke my Tonka trucks as a kid from rough play
W- It's just a dump truck, dammit.
W-- What the fuck is all this Megaweapon crap?
W--- I like big big loaders
!W Get off our private bboard, bitchz!

Anukul Kapoor / raistlin+@CMU.EDU