Complied and written by Scott Bernier (moxieman@mint.net) using information from various sources, including: his own writing, Aaron Mandelbaum, Sadie Squirrel, Kkatman, alt.db FAQ Addendum/Appendix #3 and #3c, and the alt.devilbunnies archives maintained by SnowHare. Special thanks to those above for reviewing this along with: Karl Kauffman, Susan Franz, Remus Shepard, Jan Mayo, and Heather Kenderick.
Q. What is the role of squirrels in alt.devilbunnies?
A. Squirrels are _not_ the focus of the war, the devilbunnies are. Squirrels have been used as slaves by the devilbunnies for over a century. The BunnyMover FAQ (#3a) states that the first bunnymover system tunnels were paw-dug by squirrel slaves. Many died in fulfilling the wishes of their masters. These early slaves were not intelligent, but normal, trained squirrels. More recently, the intelligent squirrels have begun to uprise against their fluffy masters.
Q. Whoa! Intelligent squirrels?
A. Yes, I said intelligent squirrels. The devilbunnies found that trained squirrels could only perform certain tasks and only after months of training. To do a new task, they had to be retrained. Some mentats conceived that if their intelligence could be enhanced, perhaps almost to the level of a regbun, then the slaves could perform more tasks more quickly. Research began in the mid-60's and the first experiments were conducted around 1970. There was little success at first. Either it just didn't work, or the
squirrels would go insane and have to be killed. Then came the squirrelvirus.
Q. Squirrelvirus? What's that?
A. Some rogue mentats at University Circle (UCirc) Warren beneath Case Western Reserve University began experiments to alter the bunnyvirus. The altered virus converted squirrels. It did not change the squirrels into bunnies, but it enhanced their intelligence. The first successful version, the alpha strand, had the side effect of destroying the squirrel's natural cuteness. It's fur turned to a silver/chrome color. A later version, known as the beta strand, was just as successful without destroying the squirrel's natural cuteness.
The experiments worked too well. The squirrels became sentient and rebelled against their masters. The resulting revolt attracted nearby Fudds who destroyed the warren and all paws in it, or so the buns and Fudds assumed for the next twenty years. Then these squirrels made contact with the outside world and have been a headache to the devilbunnies ever since.
Q. Wait a minute! If this squirrelvirus is based on bunnyvirus, does that make these squirrels carriers of this disease?
A. Squirrels converted via the squirrelvirus are carriers of the squirrelvirus and can infect and thus convert normal squirrels with the virus.
Q. But if it's based on bunnyvirus, could it turn humans into squirrels?
A. Not directly. Remember it was engineered to improve or enhance the intelligence of a squirrel. There are rumors that with a little outside help, squirrelvirus can turn a human into a squirrel. Very few squirrels actually know whether or not this rumor is true, and they're keeping their muzzles shut.
Q. So is this the only squirrel faction out there?
A. No. After the 'failure' with the squirrelvirus and under approval from SFU and PAW, Rabbit Mentat at Namakata Labs begin to experiment with nanite enhancement around 1974. He injected squirrels with nanites which multiplied within the host body and set themselves-up within the brain of the host. The experiments were successful, but the squirrels remained dependant upon the nanites for the rest of their lives. Five years later the technique was improved upon and the nanites altered the actual
structure of the host's brain cells and the DNA of the host's brain, before dissolving harmlessly.
The experiments proved so successful that most warrens with squirrel slaves adopted the method. Alas they did not discover one minor defect with this method. The DNA of the entire squirrel was altered, not just the brain cells. The new DNA was passed down from one generation to the next. By the time it was discovered by the devilbunnies, it was too late to attempt to reverse the process. The squirrels of Namakata did eventually revolt and the lab/warren was destroyed a few years later.
Q. Have there been other revolts?
A. Beginning in early 1993, a dissident squirrel using the alias, Sadie Squirrel, spoke-out against bunny suppression. Her famous treatise titled, Squirrel Liberation, became widely read by the squirrel slaves, which in turn began to sew the seeds of revolt throughout the slaves. To this day she moves secretly from warren to warren aiding in the revolution.
Q. May I see a copy of this Squirrel Liberation?
A. Unfortunately, the devilbunnies have destroyed every copy they can get their paws on. A standing Nibble Notice states that anybun/squirrel found with a copy of this treasonous paper is to be executed on sight and the paper destroyed. Only excerpts survive to this day such as:
Q. So all the squirrels are either slaves or former slaves, right?
A. Wrong. Some actually follow their masters willingly thinking that they are being treated as near equals. Most of these squirrels are known as blackies. They are mostly grey squirrels with too much pigmentation in their skin and fur (as opposed to a lack of pigmentation like an albino). These poor mislead squirrels tend to be the first to fall in battle against the Army of Fudd as they are used mainly by the devilbunnies for "Polish Land Mining", setting-off traps meant to kill the devilbunnies.
Q. I keep seeing [flicking] in posts by squirrels. Is this anything like a bunny (fluffing)?
A. It is similar. Squirrels communicate with a combination of chirps, chitters and wigwaging of their tails. The flicks in brackets are a form of this last communication. The number of different styles of tail flicks is as diverse as bunny fluffs and detailed descriptions will not be covered here.
Q. Are there any established groups of liberated squirrels?
A. There are several groups. To name a few:
Q. How are squirrels viewed in the world of alt.devilbunnies?
A. They are laughed at, considered crazy, and overall mostly ignored except as comic relief. There are a few exceptions, but overall neither side consider the squirrels a serious threat. The majority of the devilbunnies consider squirrels to be either a useful tool in the war against the Fudds or they consider them to be a nuisance that should be eliminated. Many buns and Fudds simply refer to the squirrels as tree-rats. The few squirrels who have the respect of one side or the other had to work hard to gain
that respect.
Q. Are intelligent squirrels edible? Especially those converted by squirrel virus. If it's based on bunnyvirus and devilbunnies are inedible, what about squirrels converted by squirrelvirus?
A. We took this question directly to the squirrels in question. The answer they gave was: (ponderflick, flick, flick) We're not telling! }:3
Q. Is there anything else I should know?
A. Well, the experiments to make squirrels intelligent only involved tree squirrels, mostly greys, fox squirrels, and reds. The buns viewed the ground squirrel species as too dumb to bother with. Thus the derogatory term some devilbunnies use for squirrels: "chipmunks" referring to their stupidity and inferiority in the eyes of the devilbunnies. Do remember that the focus of the war are the devilbunnies and not their slaves.
Q. What if I have more questions to ask?
A. You can contact current squirrel authors who may be able to help you:
For information on the UCIRC squirrels, Teral, Chit, and company, and/or the squirrelvirus, contact Aaron Mandelbaum.
For info on nanite squirrels, Aldin Busheytail, Namakata, tailflick emote descriptions, and/or general squirrel questions contact Scott Bernier.
For info on the CapeWarren squirrels, include Sallie Squirrel, contact
Kkatman.
For info on Sadie Squirrel and her Squirrel Liberation Treatise, contact Sadie Squirrel, an anonymous writer.
For info on the Red Squirrels of Glasgow AoF Soviet, Kropotkin and Baikunin, contact, Ed or for Diana Squirrel, his wife, Muttley.
This FAQ is Copyright 1996-7 by Scott Bernier, "Sadie Squirrel", and Aaron Mandelbaum.
HTMLized by Scott Bernier.
Last updated May 4, 1997
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