Copyright (c) 1988 Ashtoreth (William Haas) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm sitting in one of the larger vestibules of Aster Hall. I come here when things bother me, because there's no one here. Something happened to the place Aster Hall is, and there's nothing alive. Just dead trees, and lots of rain. I can hear the rain pounding on the roof now. It's nice and dark in here, except for a single candle flame. I can get away from what's hurting me here. No, wait, that's not really true; but I can confront it on my own terms here. I like the dark, and solitude. Everyone else favored the light and the company of others, so naturally I took comfort in darkness and isolation. People hurt me. People have always hurt me. I don't suppose they knew it at first, but once they realized, their zeal had to be seen to be believed. It's as if men exist to destroy, to torment. They can't even live with their own kind. I could have forgiven them everything but that, I suppose. I turned away from others, preferring my own company. I think that's how it was, though it's possible that I wanted their companionship, but knew I'd have to live without it. The rain is a mouth with no mind that keeps me company with its chat- tering. I suppose I do need some sort of company, but it wasn't that of other men that I needed. They scared me, because they'd never taken the time to understand me or to give me a chance to grow accustomed to them. I liked cats, though. The people of the dark, they were. I've never been afraid of cats, though I fear most other creatures. I think because most other creatures serve men, while cats do not. Light serves man as well. Light tears great holes in the night, to reveal those like me who just want to be let alone. I don't hate the light itself. The sun has felt fine on my face, when I was certain I was alone; but men crawl across the surface of the world in the light, like insects, like a plague. I associate light with men, and so I don't feel quite at ease when things are brightly lit. I may even get a little sick. All I wanted was dark, and quiet. Was that too much to want? What of the price? They'd hurt me for so long...what I did didn't hurt them. As far as I know. They ruined the world for me, as someone would ruin your evening. So I abandoned them, as you might have. They cheated the world, bound it, while I did not; so I sent them away from it. Never mind how. I'm not going to tell you. I didn't feel they were entitled to be here. I cannot claim the whole world. Others belong here; they will find their way back. Only those who are used to travelling secret or dark ways can, those who were driven to them, and I will greet them with the smile I've never worn. In the meantime, I am not fully alone...there are cats here.