Archive name: dustfaql.txt Archive contents: Dust Bunny Frequently-Asked Questions List Archive size: 129,048 bytes (2948 lines) Last updated: 8/3/93 (version 1.5) FAQL compiled, organized, and generally created by: Will A. Sanborn (was1@shore.net) FAQL edited/rearranged/mangled/maintained by: Matt Garretson (garrem@rpi.edu) FAQL contributors: Stephen Chan Omar A. Turner Jonathan D. Carter Will A. Sanborn Matt Garretson ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dust Bunny Film FAQ List ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Table of Contents: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ To locate a particular section, just do a text search for "#" + the section number. For example, to locate section VII, search for "#VII". I. Introduction II. General DB FAQs III. DB^V FAQs IV. Assorted DB^V DYKs V. Assorted DB^V DYNs VI. An important DB^V DYC VII. Assorted DB^V Statistics VIII. Early Ideas for DB^V IX. DB^V-related E-Mail X. Working DB^V Script XI. Production Log for DB^V XII. A Treatise on the History of the Dust Bunny Saga (unfinished) XIII. Conclusion XIV. (Roman numerals sure are cool, aren't they?) XV. (Huh huh huh huh. Yeah, cool. Huh huh huh.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ #I. Introduction: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Welcome to the FAQ list for the films in the DB trilogy, which [to date] encompasses 5 films. In hoping that you, the audience, might more fully enjoy these cinematic experiences, the filmmakers have prepared the following list of frequently-asked questions (and, at no extra charge to you, the answers as well!), along with various DB-related factoids. The primary focus of this FAQ is the latest blockbuster "Dustbunnies V: Dead Men Don't Fart". Abbreviations Used in this FAQL: FAQ = Frequently-Asked Question FAQL = Frequently-Asked Question List DB = Dust Bunny DBs = Dust Bunnies DB^1 = Return of the Killer Dust Bunnies (1989) DB^2 = Attack of the Killer Dust Bunnies II: The Mutation (1991) DB^3 = Dustbunnies 3: The Covenant of Doom (1992) DB^4 = Dustbunnies 4: The Mother of All Sequels, The Seeds of Doom, The Silence of the Dustbunnies, ...ah, screw the subtitles! (1992) DB^5 = Dustbunnies V: Dead Men Don't Fart (1993) JP = Jurassic Park, that cheesy movie from that no-talent Spielberg Dude MST3K= Mystery Science Theater 3000, a show on Comedy Central DYK = Did You Know DYN = Did You Notice DYC = Did You Care OMPS = Original Motion Picture Soundtrack GH = General Hawk (DB^5) CS = Confucius Slime (DB^4, DB^5) BoD = Boy of Destiny (DB^5) OO = Octaurian Overlord (DB^3, DB^4) PI = Potato Ice (DB^3, DB^4) WAS = Contributed by Will A. Sanborn MOG = Contributed by Matty-O Garretson SC = Contributed by Stephen "No Middle Initial" Chan OAT = Contributed by Omar A. Turner, "Boy of Destiny" JDC = Contributed by Jonathan D. Carter ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ #II. General Dust Bunny FAQs: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. I'm still not sure what the hell this FAQL is about. Well?? A. It's about a bunch of lame videos made by some RPI students. The whole thing started innocently enough as a project for a film course, but then magnified into something much more horrible. See section XII for more details if you dare. (MOG) Q. What are these videos about? A. They are about little cotton bal-- er, vicious dust bunnies that go around killing people. (MOG) Q. What are dust bunnies? A. Go look under the sofa and see for yourself. (MOG) Q. What is the official nomenclature scheme for the DB films? A. Pick one. The current trend among the filmmakers is to use the shorthand system, e.g. "DB^1" to refer to the first film in the series. Note that the '^' character indicates exponentiation -- which really makes no sense in this context but is used anyway, a la "Alien^3". In a vain attempt to lend an air of sophistication to their films, the filmmakers occasionally number them with roman numerals; e.g. DB^V. This issue is entirely academic, however, since most sensible people avoid discussion of the DB films at all costs. (MOG) Q. Where did the bunnies actually come from? A. It's unknown. In DB^1, the scientist believes that they are the products of "space aliens from the Planet X7," but later on he implies that they are normal dust balls that "think, move, and even attack" when the "correct nuclear reagent is applied." It's a mystery! (Actually, the dust bunnies came from a supermarket chain in upstate New York called Price Chopper.) (SC) In the filming of DB^5, more expensive and colorful bunnies were used to give the film a multicultural look and feel. (WAS) Q. What is the scientific term for dust bunnies (from DB^1)? A. Phonetically, it's "spendimicifrosis cuniculus", more or less. (MOG) Q. From DB^1 and DB^2, what are the origins of the terms "FTOG" and "rectal transportation facility"? A. That's "rectal transFortation facility"! As Shakespeare once said, "If impresseth them with finely-crafted dialogue thou canst not, baffleth thine readers with goodly and prodigious bullshit." And FTOG stands for Fat Tub Of Goo, a derogatory nickname for Per Schroeder's corpulent and unsavory Bray Hall roommate, who [Tal] shall remain [Tal] nameless [Tal]. (MOG) Q. It was pretty neat in DB^1 the way the first dust bunny stuck to the bottom of Don's foot after he stepped on it. How was this accomplished? A. Well, we used a Go-motion articulated replica of Don's leg, and a tiny auto-erotic model of a dust bunny, which contained a complex system of cables, pulleys, and hydraulics and was operated by a team of 7 men located under the floor of the sound stage. The action for this scene was rehearsed dozens of times so everything would look fluid and natural. And if you've read this far into the answer, you might like to know that Don's foot was sweatty and the cotton ball just stuck to it accidentally. We figured that having the bunny stick to his foot was just as good as not having it stick to his foot, and decided not to do a retake. (MOG) Q. In DB^1, it took Don over a minute to find the milk in his refrigerator. What was the deal with that? A. There are several theories: 1) The inside of the refrigerator was much larger than the outside; 2) The milk carton was hidden behind the CoolWhip and thus very hard to find; 3) Don was momentarily hypnotized by a pulsating slime mold living in the cottage cheese; 4) Don had a brief flashback to the time he spent in the pen; 5) The filmmakers didn't realize how long that shot was going to be, and hence neglected to come up with anything more interesting for Don to do than to gaze into the frig while he waited for the background dialogue to finish. (MOG) Q. What is the sequencing of the five movies in linear time? A. DB^1 and DB^2 are the first and second movies, then DB^5 is actually a sequel to DB^2 and a prequel to DB^3 and DB^4. My justification in this is, first the bunny was put in a research facility in the end of DB^2 and then escapes in DB^5. Also in DB^4, Confucius Slime is a Dust-Bunny Executioner. How could this be possible unless he had prior knowledge of the bunnies, such as teaming up with Gen. Hawk? Then in the end of DB^5 when Omar drops the last bunny, it sets up the stage for DB^3 & DB^4 (it multiplies and mutates into another Dust Creature which joins up with the Octaurian Overlord). (WAS) Q. Is there really such a word as "dustbunny"? A. Nope. Not in the English language, at least. But we used it the title anyway. So bite us. (MOG) Q. Why have 5 movies been made in this series? A. Why does a new Brady reunion show come out every two years? (MOG) Q. How come none of the films has a leading lady? A. We're at RPI...enough said. Also, the only woman we could find to do a scene for us in DB^5 turned out to be a hyperactive chocolate-freebasing sorority ditz, who just happened to be Steve's younger sister. (WAS) Q. What is the history behind the first DB movie which started all of this? A. See Leonard Maltin's "Where Did They Come From? From Where Did They Originate? : A Treatise on the History of the Dust Bunny Film Saga", included as part XII of this FAQL. Q. Who was involved in making DB^1? A. Here are the opening and closing titles for "Return of the Killer Dust Bunnies": [DB^1 Opening Titles:] Bray III Productions Presents an R.G.C.W. & N. film Based on an idea conceived by Don Reiff RETURN OF THE KILLER DUST BUNNIES Starring: (in alphabetical order) Stephen Chan Matthew Garretson Craig Neuwirt Don Reiff Brian Welcher and featuring Steven Schwalje as "The Scientist" [DB^1 Closing Titles:] cast Don Reiff ......... Don Steven Schwalje ... the Scientist Stephen Chan ...... the Assistant Craig Neuwirt ..... DustBuster #1 Craig DeYoung ..... DustBuster #2 Matt Garretson .... DustBuster #3 Brian Welcher ..... Bob A+ [subliminal] with Per Schroeder Pete Mazurek Will Sanborn Alexander Uy Yuan-Chin "Ski" Chou as the dust bunny's [sic] victims A+ [subliminal] Special thanks to all those who helped make this film possible A+ [subliminal] And to Bray III residents for putting up with our hassles. A+ [subliminal] THE END Q. Who was involved in making DB^2? A. Here are the opening and closing titles for "Attack of the Killer Dust Bunnies II: The Mutation": [DB^2 Opening Titles:] Bray III '88-'89 Productions Presents A Y. Chou / R. McGowan Film Attack of the Killer Dust Bunnies II The Mutation starring Stephen Chan Ron McGowan Tony Cerullo and featuring Steve Schwalje as the Scientist [DB^2 Closing Titles:] CAST: Steve Schwalje....... The Scientist Stephen Chan ........ The Assistant Tony Cerullo ....... The Dust Monster Ron McGowan ......... Dust Buster #1 Craig DeYoung ....... Dust Buster #2 Niles Cocanour ...... Dust Buster #3 Bob Potash .......... Special Agent X Tony Cerullo ........ Dr. Redepenning Craig Neuwirt ....... Tunnel Worker Kevin Blackington.... Government Agent #1 Matt Garretson ...... Government Agent #2 Steve Schwalje ...... Student #1 (Porush) Yuan-Chin Chou ...... Student #2 (Valjean) Will A. Sanborn ..... Student #3 (Spuds) Craig Neuwirt ...... Student #4 (Rhino) Alex Uy ............. Student #5 (Kaifang) Craig DeYoung ....... Student #6 (D-Boy) Edwin C. Perkins .... Student #7 (H. Toht) Matt Garretson ...... Student #8 (The Cat) Stephen Chan ........ Student #9 (Saddam) Melissa ............. Student #10 (herself) Yuan-Chin Chou ...... Janitor STUNTS: Melissa The Sexual Stunt Doll Yuan-Chin Chou Craig DeYoung STUNT DRIVER: Craig DeYoung CINEMATOGRAPHY: Ron McGowan Yuan-Chin Chou Tony Cerullo CAMERA: Ron McGowan SPECIAL EFFECTS: Center of the Universe Light & Magic Inc. SCREENPLAY: Yuan-Chin Chou Ron McGowan (Based on an idea conceived by Don Reiff) SCRIPT ADVISOR: Steve Schwalje REMOTE COMMUNICATIONS TECHNICIAN: Matthew Finnegan POST-PRODUCTION: Yuan-Chin Chou Tony Cerullo Ron McGowan Matt Garretson TITLES: Matt-the-Cat Enterprises Music from "Les Miserables" by Claude-Michel Schonberg Some scenes taken from "Die Hard" and "Predator". (c) 1991 Bray 3 '88-'89 Productions All rights reserved. Some of the characters depicted closely resemble the actors by whom they were portrayed, but are fictitious nonetheless. Q. Who was involved in making DB^3? A. Will A. Sanborn Matt Garretson Matt Dautle Stephen Chan Jeff Young (as Taldin, the Boy of Destiny) Kevin ? (a freshman, as Shabba) Q. Who was involved in making DB^4? A. Will A. Sanborn Matt Garretson Stephen Chan Omar A. Turner Q. What is the history behind each of the DB movies? A. (Supplied by WAS, sometime in March 1993) DB^1: Return of the Killer Dust Bunnies, Spring 1989 The story and acting in this movie was really well done, especially for freshpeople in college. The editing was well done, but because of the equipment they were using the video and sound quality was poor. The master tape had about third generation copies of video on it. DB^2: The Mutation, Spring 1991 The story and acting here was again well done, probably even better than the original movie since they were Juniors at the time and were assisted in postproduction by Matt Garretson, senior editing technician for DB^1. Again the video quality suffered because of the lack of good editing equipment, but the overall quality was better than in DB^1 because the raw footage was recorded on 8mm video tape. The sound quality in this movie was superb. DB^3: The Covenant of Doom, May 15 & 16, 1992 Produced by Will A. Sanborn, Matt Garretson and Stephen Chan. This was shot on a whim during the last two days of Senior week, filming started on Friday night after graduation. When the movie was done at 2:00 or so in the morning, we came to the aggravating realization that the sound on Steve's camera didn't work. We compensated for this by redubbing the dialog. There were two problems with this. First Matt Dautle who played the Dust Creature had already left for home, and Steve was taking a nap (big surprise 8) ) and wouldn't get up, so Matt and I were forced to do all the dialog ourselves. The problem with this is that all the dialog had been done impromptu and we couldn't remember what it was. During the scene where the Octaurian Overlord meets the Dustcreature and the final scene where Potato Ice does his song and dance, there was a lot of cool dialog. When we went to redub it we had forgotten most of what hat been said so the resulting dialog was pretty lame. It made for good schlock value though. The storyline of this movie was okay and fairly entertaining, the best gags were the recycling of actors for different roles and the funny accents we used. Technically, this movie was great since it was shot in 8mm and used in- camera editing. DB^4: The Mother of all Sequels, The Seeds of Doom, The Silence of the Dustbunnies, Oh Heck...Screw the Subtitles May 16 & 17, 1992 Produced by Will A. Sanborn, Matt Garretson and Stephen Chan Using the foreknowledge that our camera didn't record sound we decided to make a silent movie. Technically this worked out quite well and we didn't have to worry about people's ability to act (or lack thereof) and dialog wasn't a problem either. The story line was a bit lame, but it was entertaining. The picture quality was again great, with slight problems with occasionally focusing in on the dialog cards. The music we chose to use worked out great and added a lot to the film. Notes: This is the first time we used our neat-o special effect for tele- portation. This film also introduced fledgling actor, Omar A. Turner, who was a freshman at the time. DB^5: Dead Men Don't Fart, March 1993 Produced by Will A. Sanborn, Matt Garretson and Stephen Chan Technically this was the best movie since we filmed in Hi8 and only used one generation for editing. The storyline was fairly decent but didn't have too much too it. For a 45 minute movie, not too much happened, although there were some cool choreographed dancing scenes along with gratuitous violence and running. Probably the best part about this movie was all the cool music we used in it. This was probably the silliest of all the movies. The random cat footage was really cool, too. Note: This movie introduces Jon Carter who will surely be an up and coming actor someday. Although his acting style is very rough he has the uncanny ability to do bizarre comical facial expressions. (WAS) Q. DB^3 and DB^4 aren't really all that bad, are they? A. Ooooh yes they are. Do not be taken in by their clever disguise! (MOG) Q. Okay, I'm convinced. Why are they so bad? A. They were conceived, written, filmed, edited, and effected in real time, in the wee hours of the morning, after the filmmakers' graduation from RPI. If that isn't enough reason, then nothing could be. (MOG) Q. What were the names of the production companies for each film? A. DB^1: Bray III Productions DB^2: Bray III '88-'89 Productions DB^3: Random Productions DB^4: Gomez Productions DB^5: Gomez Productions Q. Who is this Gomez Dude and why does he have a bullet hole in his head? A. He is a yellow sphere with a face and a bad haircut. It's amazing what a bullet will do to a yellow sphere. Gomez was the genesis of RPI graduate General William Ncortchuck (sp), and was adopted as the mascot for the now-defunct E-Dorms Men League in 1990 after an ill-fated campaign for Grand Marshall of the RPI Union. Gomez's main characteristics are a bad attitude and a general distaste for the political status-quo. For more information, see "The Gomez Chronicles". And, when in lovely Troy, be sure to visit the Gomez Memorial Attic. Bring a picnic lunch and a blowtorch. (MOG) Q. How did a yellow sphere with no arms direct DB^5? A. To this day, we still haven't been able to figure that out. Q. Wow, this is a long file. Are we almost done yet? A. Not even close, bub! Q. What killed the bunnies in each movie? A. DB^1: Water DB^2: Beer DB^3: Jello Instant Pudding DB^4: Bullets DB^5: Bullets and cats Q. What were the subliminal messages in each of the DB movies? A. DB^1: - Don Reiff whispering "jesus!" during opening credits (unintentional) - "A+", "FTOG", and "Hammet is great!" written on blackboard - "A+" formed by pile of dust bunnies - "A+" flashed several times during end titles. DB^2: - "Porush is great," "A+," written on blackboard - "Doggie style" in professor Redepenning's lecture - random background appearances of Melissa the Sexual Stunt Doll DB^5: VERY brief flashes of a Playboy Desk calendar and of CS whipping off his pants and dancing like Marky Mark (only in Steve's bizarre and twisted dreams). (SC & WAS) Q. What was the music used in DB^1? A. In order of appearance: "Mars, Bringer of War" ..... Gustav Holst, from "The Planets" Some piece by Tchaikovsky???? Dunh-dah dunh-dah theme .... John Williams, from OMPS of "Jaws" Some other piece ........... ??? "Adagio for Strings" ....... Samuel Barber Q. What was the music used in DB^2? A. In order of appearance: "Mr. Universe" ............. Ian Gillan, from "Mr. Universe" "Look Down" ................ Claude-Michel Shonberg, from "Les Miserables" ??? ........................ From OMPS of "The Hunt for Red October" Q. What was the music used in DB^3? A. There wasn't any music in DB^3, jerky! Q. What music was used in the experimental silent film DB^4? A. In order of appearance: "Memorial" .............. Michael Nyman, from OMPS of "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover" "Spaghetti Del Mare" .... Eric Serra, from OMPS of "Le Grand Bleu" Q. Why is the word 'carnage' misspelled a couple of times in DB^4? A. It was intentionally spelled with a 'K' as an obscure reference to the Disney cartoon series "Talespin." In the show there is a pirate called Don Karnage, I believe this was intended to be a subtle joke that only the adults watching the show would catch up on. Since that was Will's favorite show for a year and a half, we had to put that reference in. (WAS) Q. Who claimed ownership for Melissa the Sexual Stunt Doll used in DB^2? A. She belonged to a friend of Ron's. (SC) As a side note, Melissa suffered a tragic and fatal accident after the filming of DB^2. Well, it wasn't really an accident; Craig DeYoung simply ran her over multiple times with his Chevy Blazer. (MOG) Q. How come all of the movies take place at RPI and the last 3 have almost exclusively taken part in the E-dorms? A. Actually, all of the films were shot on the sets used for the original "Brady Bunch" television show. (MOG) Oodles of local talent!!! (the dust bunnies apparently) (JDC) Q. How do these mutant dust bunnies kill people, do they have teeth? A. Remarkably, all of the bunnies' victims appear to have died from allergic reactions to dacron/cotton blends. (MOG) Q. Why is there a tendency for the dust bunny victims to stuff the bunnies into their mouths? A. Mmph mmrpmb mmnprhle ... murmblmmfph! (MOG) Q. What would happen if someone tried to eat a dust bunny? A. Unknown at this time, but based on pure speculation, the DB would eventually dissolve into the poor fools blood stream and somehow mutate the hosts DNA to mutate to gaussian proportions and do irreversible damage to all major systems, hours will pass and the victim will take on the characteristics of a typical DB, rolling on the floor, hiding under the bed, sticking to walls, watching episodes of 90210, and on and on. Needless to say the person is pretty f*cked up from then on. The last remaining bits of the cursed bastards free will would just be praying to die, it is a long painful slow conversion process. (OAT) Q. But didn't some guys in DB^4 eat some DBs? A. Yes but they were special DBs created by the Octaurian Overlord, so the DBs (disguised as popcorn) were of such intensity that the victims instantly turned into the ill-fated Dust bunny minions #1 and #2 respectively. Remember never eat free popcorn! (OAT) Especially if you find it in a theater after a showing of a movie and everyone else has left ....Steve. (WAS) Q. How come bullets were able to kill the bunnies in movies 4 and 5 but not in the earlier movies? A. This is because at the end of DB^2, there was one bunny left that survived the explosion. It had mutated such that it was impervious to fire but not to bullets. Mankind was lucky enough that this mutation wasn't as hardy as before. This explanation has been liberally plagiarized from that wonderful 70's SciFi movie: ANDROMEDA STRAIN. (WAS) Q. How come the amount of time it takes the dust bunnies to kill and devour a person varies so much? In some scenes it takes them awhile to kill someone and the body is not rapidly disposed of. But with other victims, they are killed and picked clean (nothing left but clothes) in a matter of seconds. A. The time required for an individual to be killed and devoured by a gaggle of dust bunnies of arbitrary size varies inversely with the quantity of pork and pork by-products consumed by that individual in the 72 hours prior to the attack under consideration. (MOG) Q. On a similar note...how come the bunnies eat the whole body, including the bones, but managed to leave the clothes intact? A. They may be vicious, but dust bunnies are not cannibalistic; they won't consume any material containing cotton. (MOG) Q. Are there any other DB films in the works? A1. We seem to have milked the subject dry, but who knows, that never stops Hollywood. One planned project is "Soylent Bunnies" which will be a dark futuristic melodrama. Set in the not so distant future, Soylent Bunnies will show the horrors of a world used up by the constant demands of over- population. In a world where all lesser animals have been killed by toxic waste, the Government releases the dust bunnies as a "pet substitute." Because of their hypnotic power, the bunnies are loved by all (much like the tribbles from Star Trek). The movie's climax will be very shaking when the hero, Charlton Heston reveals the bunnies secret origin. "Peeeeeple, the bunnies are made of peeeeeple..." (reference to a Saturday Night Live sketch making fun of "Soylent Green." The host was John Goodman, and it first aired on Saturday March 13, 1993, during the blizzard of 1993 where we got 28 inches in the New York Capitol District, and the film crew was stuck in Matt's apartment.) (WAS) A2. There was an article in USA Today last week about direct-to-video erotic thriller flicks, which got me thinking, what if we do DB^6 in that format? Here's a general plot synopsis of "DB^6: Yet Another Direct-to-Video Erotic Thriller": A scientist (I wish Steve Schwalje could play him again!) is on the verge of developing a weapon that will finally destroy the DBs from the face of the earth. Fearing for his family's safety, GH and CS are assigned to protect his ravishing daughter. CS (being the hormonal grunge rap star) falls in love with the daughter, despite the protests of GH (who plays the straight man since he has grenades for testicles). During a hot, sweaty act of sex, CS fails in his duty and hordes of DBs wreak massive destruction. CS is fired... blah blah blah... and there's a happy ending somewhere (I'll come up with it after I see "The Bodyguard"). Of course, the biggest problem is the female lead. For that we have two options. First, we could recruit someone we know back at RPI. Will knows women from the paint crew, perhaps Gargar could get a Phi Sig sister to play. Second, we don't have a woman physically in the film. We could show a picture of Chris Kapostasy, explaining that she's the daughter (and ensuring that her name ends up in the credits). Then pretty much all the scenes that would involve the daughter would be kind of like after the fact or implied that she's in the room, but not scene. (Hell, I know that I'm not making sense!!!) For example, when the scientist introduces his daughter, instead of panning (or cutting) from the scientist to his daughter, it would be to CS (who would have a love-struck look on his face) and GH. Then later on, CS and GH would have a dialogue where CS reveals that he's falling in love. For the sex scene, we could just have a shot of a bedroom door ajar, with moans, groans, and creaking bed spring sound coming from within. (Does that make any sense?!?!?!?!?) (SC) A3. Steve mentioned this idea in a reply to a certain dream that the moderator had regarding a tie-in with a certain Disney animated series involving anthropomorphic bears and the Star Trek the Next Generation series. (6/2/93) Speaking of Star Trek, let's buy some Star Trek Phasers and Tricorders (coming soon!) for DB^6. In the story, we could have the DBs mutate so they're no longer vulnerable to bullets (just like in the first two films), then we develop special hand-held energy weapons that'll kill them. The Tricorder would be a be a special tracking device. In any case, it'll give me an excuse to get Star Trek toys! =) A4. Submitted by Steve on 6/22/93: After watching JP this weekend, we should film our own version of JP 2. It'll be so easy, and it'll be a crossover of JP and DB!!! Here's a preliminary plot treatment: CS and GH are hanging out, watching MST3K when the phone rings. GH answers it. It's John Hammond, informing him that Robert Muldoon is dead. Since Muldoon was a 'Nam war buddy, GH yells, "Good man. My man. GOOD MAN!" Hammond hires GH and CS to go to JP with Alan Grant and Ellie Sattler to wipe out all the carnivorous dinos. CS and GH arrive at JP with AG and ES. They four break up into two groups: CS and GH, and AG and ES. Unfortunately, AG and ES are devoured by rabid flesh-eating penguins, who are then eaten by a T-Rex. Oh well. Meanwhile, CS and GH annihilate all the Velociraptors. Their so-called cunning and lethal speed and reflexes were no match for CS's righteous and funky fresh dance moves! After CS and GH kill off the T-Rex (by GH feeding it BBQ pork rinds), they realize that there's still one more dino left, and it is THE king of all the dinos in JP. Well, it turns out to be fuckin' Barney the Dinosaur. Because of his dopey and corny songs, the other dinos had no choice but to obey, or get more music. Immediately, CS breaks into a grunge-metal-rap that stuns Barney. Then CS and GH kick the shit outta him. Their mission done, CS and GH get back in time for Beavis and Butthead. ...The end. Of course, you're wondering how we're gonna pull this off. Simple: JP toys and our G.I. Joe stand-ins!! Whenever there's a scene in which CS and GH have to appear with dinos or AG and ES, we use the G.I. Joe stand- ins and the JP toys! As for Barney, we could rent a costume and have Omar dress up in it. Then we stuff the suit with pillows for the shit-kicking scene (unless Omar is a deranged masochist!). After we film it, we send a copy to Steven Spielberg and wait for the copyright infringement police to come and lock us up! Whaddya think?!? My Reply to This was: (WAS) (6/23/93) Since you guys have expressed interest in making DB^6 using Steve's ideas I figured we should try and do some shooting this weekend. I know we won't get it all done but what I think we should do is shoot some crucial raw footage and plan to come back in August and put it together (I can probably get a 4-day weekend then). Even if we don't ever make it I think we should make a 2-3 minute trailer for it this weekend...that shouldn't take too long maybe 5 hours or so. That way even if we never finished it we could at least have a neat little preview for it. Here is my idea for the movie: The Octaurian Overload comes back and using some primitive DNA found in a fossil ...he then uses genetic recombination to combine the dust bunnies and a dinosaur into the dreaded purple FLUFFY-SAURUS (a.k.a. Barney the dinosaur). Well of course we chase him around and he attacks some people, we have a lot of gratuitous scenes of Steve and I firing our weapons, and then in the end we destroy Barney in a huge pyrotechnic explosion (in North Lot of course 8) ). We will also have to figure out some way to destroy the Overlord ...CS will have to kill him to avenge the death of his brother PI. And so you have it DB^6: Return to Jurassic Park (original concept by Stephen Chan). And now for my proposed script for the preview: "Coming this summer from Gomez Productions/The Video Pirates Guild" appears on the screen....fade out to black Show footage from DB^3 & DB^4 where PI and the Overlord are fighting ... cut to scene of ship blowing up (taken from some sci-fi movie), have a voice-over saying "Last year you thought you saw him be destroyed .... think again" Cut to scene from DB^3 of the Overlord saying "They Forgot about me ... this smells like a sequel" Show the Overlord in his lab with a bunny ....he does something to it, the voice-over says something about recombinant DNA using fossilized genetic material then show stop-action (5 frames a second 8) ) of a bunch of purple bunnies coalescing.into BARNEY!!!! fade to black...fade to credits "DB^6: Return To Jurassic Park" From there we show a bunch of battle scenes with a lot of guns firing and a bunch of chase scenes (with the G.I. Joe and Barney figures of course) maybe add some gratuitous explosions too ...we don't need to put those scenes in the actual movie ...just say they were from the out-takes ...but it will make for a good preview ...have some scenes were we are running and screaming ...in short we will basically show 2 minutes of pure chaos with a lot of different cuts Cut to black ...cut to "DB^6: Return To Jurassic Park ....Coming soon to a VCR near you" Cut to black ...maybe have a scene with us saying something like "I can't believe we're actually gonna make another movie" Cut to black ...have footage from the Barney show where he's waving his hands or something ...have a voice-over say "We are BARNEY ...you will be assimilated" Cut to GOMEZ Productions logo We should also try to tape news 13 to see if we can take some snippets of something Chris says and take it out of context and use it in our production. So, what do you guys think? Is it crazy enough so it just might work? (WAS) [Creator's note:] Of course we didn't get filming done on the weekend of the 25th when I came up. We had too much planned and Steve wasn't able to come up. First he had to finish a paper for his summer class at Cornell, and then on Saturday he called with another problem. His brother who goes to school out in Ohio (which coincidentally is the home of DEVO) was up in Pennsylvania to see some random country music star. Well he got into an accident with a drunk driver and his car was all smashed up; luckily he got out of it without a scratch (I guess the drunk got beat up a little bit, but not too bad). So anyway Steve had to go out there to help him and then drive him out to Ohio, so obviously he couldn't make it. Also I think he was able to get an extension on the paper (so I guess he'll never have to write it, much like the Dr. Porush incident 8) ). Well At least I got to see Jurassic Park that weekend ...and I'm inspired. We should be able to at least make the preview in August ...and the effects will almost be as good as those from ILM and SGI (of course I'm talking about International Licorice Masochists and Serge's Gay-boy Insurance 8) ). (WAS) A5. The sixth DB film, tentatively titled "Jurassic Dust Bunnies", is now in pre-production. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ #III. FAQs Pertaining strictly to DB^5: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. Who was involved in making DB^5? A. Here are the opening and closing titles for "Dustbunnies V: Dead Men Don't Fart": [DB^5 Opening Titles:] Gomez Productions 1993 In 1991, the last remaining specimen of a mutant strain of violent predators was hidden away at a top secret government research installation. In 1993, the unthinkable is about to happen... Gomez Productions Presents An E-Dorms Film Stephen Chan Will A. Sanborn in Dustbunnies V Dead Men Don't Fart Omar A. Turner Jonathan D. Carter Directed by Gomez Addams [DB^5 Closing Titles:] THE END (maybe) ~ CAST ~ in order of appearance Boy of Destiny ............. Omar A. Turner General Hawk ............... Stephen Chan "Thank you, it's lovely" ... Carlos Martinez "Oh my God!" ............... 32 Voorhees Dude "You are the man!" ......... 33 Voorhees Dude "Awesome!" ................. His Roommate "Beauty, eh?" .............. Will A. Sanborn "What? Who is it?!" ........ Stephen Chan Hyper Sorority Ditz ........ Gargar Chan Clutches Cat ............... Andrew Spina Indecent ................... Stephen Chan Computer Dudes ............. VCC Crew "Get away from her, you bitch!" ............... Stephen Chan Playing With the Alien ..... Omar A. Turner "Save me!" ................. Matt Garretson "Hey, this isn't cotton candy!" ............ Matt Garretson "This doesn't look like lint!" ............... Stephen Chan Cyberpunk .................. Omar A. Turner Unhappy Camper ............. Will A. Sanborn "Look how this nut what give it to me" ....... Jonathan T. Lee Captain Dirt Devil ......... Allen C. Gardner II Confucius Slime ............ Will A. Sanborn "Holy shit!" ............... Jonathan D. Carter D&D Convention ............. D&D Convention "Don't shoot!" ............. Matt Garretson "Why do you want to know, jerky?" .......... Matt Garretson (c) 1993 Gomez Productions No dustbunnies were harmed in the making of this film. Q. How was the title "Dead Men Don't Fart" originated and what the hell does it mean? A. The title was coined by leading actor Omar A. Turner, whose stunning performance as Boy of Destiny should easily get him an academy award. After filming, while we were watching the raw footage and eating pizza during the big blizzard of '93, we were discussing how in a couple of scenes the victims of the dust bunnies were heard to flatulate causing the cameraman to giggle. This of course was taken care of during editing but the title was silly enough to be used in a Gomez Addams production number. BTW, the two scenes in which this phenomena occurred were the "Cotton Candy" scene and the "Aliens Toy Battle" scene (Steve was farting and saying 'safety' near the end). (WAS) Q. DB^5 has no story, no plot, and no excitement. Nothing happens in it. It seems to be just a vehicle for Steve to act like a G.I. Joe character and a showcase for Will's stupid dancing. A. So what's your point, jerky? (WAS) Q. Quit calling me "jerky"! A. Okay, jerky. Q. How long did it take to develop such a twisted and intricate plot for this fantastic movie? A. About ten minutes. The original idea was developed in a flash of brilliance right before shooting began. This idea was further developed and refined during filming and post-production. A lot more work went into the preliminary plot developments ...but all of the preliminary plot ideas were scrapped for one reason or another. (WAS) Q. Who, if anyone, wants to take credit/blame for coming up with the idea behind this movie? A. I guess I'll take credit for the original idea of Omar finding the escaped bunny and giving its offspring to all of his friends. The rest of the elements in the movie resulted from a collaboration with Steve, Matt, and to some extent Omar and Jon. (WAS) Q. I heard that this movie was produced during the Blizzard of '93, or the Storm of the Century. Were there any accidents or people injured while you were filming during this state of emergency? A1. Apparently, judging from the movie, the cast and crew were lucky enough to be able to turn the blizzard on and off at will. (JDC) A2. Yes. The entire cast & crew were killed in an avalanche while filming the first scene of the film. Therefore, they claim no responsibility for the film's contents. (MOG) A3. There was one casualty ...the camera which was dropped by one of the gaffers who will remain unnamed (MATT GARRETSON) to protect his identity (MATT GARRETSON). Anyway ...the camera received cosmetic damage, a big crack, and some functional damage which resulted in an occasional picture glitch. The gaffer apologized profusely for his chuckle-headedness (MATT GARRETSON) and avoided pissing off the directors by purchasing a new camera for the studio. No malice was intended by this remark ...it was just included for historical accuracy ...I hope nobody is offended. (WAS) Q. In some scenes, there is a refection of someone who shouldn't be there; is this the cameraman or an actual ghost? A. This is indeed a ghost. DB^5, like "Three Men and a Baby" was shot on location instead of in some stuffy sound stage. Because we were shooting in a real location where people have lived and died, we chanced to film this specter. Through researching backissues of the Rensselaer Polytechnic we believe that we know the identity of the spirit. It happens to be the ghost of Philip Schnegal who committed suicide back in 1981. Upon receiving a GPA of 1.25 for his first semester, Philip realized that he would never be able to transfer to another school and that he would be stuck at RPI for at least four more years. Not being able to cope with his dim future, he decided to end his life by crushing his head in the doors of the freight elevator in the Communications Center basement. We believe that the appearance of Philip's ghost in our movie is definite proof that there is life after death. We are currently contacting "Hard Copy" with our story. (WAS) Q. Why does it continuously change between day and night and why does the blizzard keep turning on and off? A. DB^5, being of such enormous proportions, spans across all of time and space, and is therefore not held to linear time like most puny movies are. This also explains why CS's jacket keeps on materializing and then disappearing again. (WAS) Q. What was the budget for DB^5? A. Not counting the price of the cameras and the editing deck, the price was very minimal. Two Hi8 tapes were needed for filming ($32) as well as a VHS tape for editing ($5). The cost of the bunnies was about $4.50, and no other props needed to be purchased. Also, during the filming and editing sessions, the total cost of feeding the cast and crew was about $100, which paid for the whine coolers and frozen pizza. (WAS) Not to mention the $1400 to buy a new @$#&*! camcorder! (MOG) Q. How much time actually went into filming and editing the movie? A. No comment. But time flies when you're going insane. (MOG) Q. What special effects company did you use to do the outstanding effects in your brilliant movie? Was it ILM? A. Actually it was a collaboration between Matty-O F/X, Starch-and-Stuff Unlimited and Steve's Porkrind Productions. Some of the scenes were actually accomplished using lifelike puppets and the TV Backdrop Effect (patent pending). (WAS) Q. Whew! How much longer does this file go on? A. Patience, patience. There's much more DEEP HURTING and TOR-CHAR in store for you, pink boy! Q. What scenes were impromptu/surprising for the actors? A. Steve coming out of the bathroom (sort of) The guy in the iEAR studios The people playing D&D in the CII The scene of CS buying candy in Father's Food Emporium Q. How come Potato Ice doesn't appear in this movie? A. DB^5 is a prequel to DB^3 and DB^4. (WAS) Q. How come cats are immune to dust bunnies? A1. Like many wild creatures, dust bunnies are a threat only to those who exhibit fear. Cats, as is commonly known, fear nothing--excepting perhaps water, veterinarians, and "Barney" reruns--and hence do not make easy targets for dust bunnies. (MOG) A2. The DBs are afraid that the cats will leave buttmarks on them, or make them almost miss a trip to see Phantom of the Opera! =) (SC) Q. What were the names of the cats who appeared in this film? A. The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn't just one of your holiday games. You make think at first I'm as mad as a hatter, When I tell you a cat must have three different names.... - T. S. Eliot (MOG) Q. So what were their names? A. Dunno. They never told us. Q. How did the Canadian dude know it was a bunny when in the previous scene he said it was like a tribble from Star Trek? A. DBs have limited telepathic abilities. The effects depend on the DBs' victims. For example, one victim (country hick who loves cats) was led to believe that the DBs were cotton candy. The DB in DB^5 duped the BoD into believing that it was a white, fluffy, harmless pet. As for the Canadian, that DB made him believe that it was at first a Tribble, then a bunny. (SC) Q. What is the transcript to the dialog in the G.I. Joe Massacree Flashback Scene? A. "Two years ago, my men were on a routine patrol when a legion of dust bunnies ambushed and massacred them! They were the finest men I ever worked with, until those damned dust creatures killed all of them for no reason whatsoever!!" (SC) The dialogue in this acclaimed--and admittedly, brilliant--scene is actually a word-for-word English translation of the original Swedish text in the opening scene of Bjippbo Bumpershoot's 37th novel, titled roughly "My Pickles Shall Feast With Glee Upon the Residue of Thumbtacks in Motion, Beware," published in 1951. (MOG) After GH's narration (listed above), the dialog went something like this: "Captain there's something on the perimeter" "Return fire, return fire" lots of screams "I feel like shit" "Arrrgh they're on my head..." "I should have gone in the Marines" more screams "I think I'll just lie here for awhile" "Ohhhhh man....." "Ummmmpppphhh...." (WAS) Q. Why were the bunnies that attacked Gen. Hawk's men so huge as compared to all of the other bunnies? A. Dammit, it's only a movie, why don't you get a life and stop asking all of these stupid questions. The answer of course is that the bunnies had mutated once again. This is much like in the "Andromeda Strain" where at the end of the movie the virus was mutating like crazy, but all the mutations were harmless. Well the bunnies were much the same way. They mutate like crazy and some strains are more harmful than others. Mankind was again lucky though, for the gigantic dust bunnies were deathly allergic to army K-rations and perished soon after they had mauled all of Gen. Hawk's men. (WAS) A2. "...repeat to yourself 'It's just a show, I should really just relax.'" -Joel and the Joels, MST3K Q. If GH is on a top-secret military mission. Why the hell is he involving civilians...especially those with purple hair? A. General Hawk is lonely and hence craves companionship. (MOG) Q. What are the continuity errors in the film? A1. The mere existence of the film DB^5 is a gaping aberration in the space- time continuum. (MOG) A2. There are several, but here are a few: The BoD is seen walking in a blizzard in one scene, in a sunny winter day the next, and then the previous blizzard. CS is seen wearing a T-shirt in some scenes, but a coat in others. GH's sidearm disappears and reappears on his right thigh throughout the movie. (SC) Q. Why weren't the terms "FTOG" or "Rectal Transportation Unit" used in the film? A. These are very technical scientific terms used by biomedical researchers (and the random insane alien bent on destroying the Earth). Since neither GH or CS has this kind of training, it is ludicrous to expect them to use such jargon. (WAS) Besides, we forgot about them. (MOG) Q. During the scenes when CS and GH are shooting the DBs, how come the sounds of shotguns and exploding claymore mines are also heard? A. GH served in the Vietnam War (which CS briefly made reference to in the film). Every time GH fights the DBs, he relives the 'Nam, which is represented by the extra sounds. (SC) Q. How come GH and CS don't shoot their feet whenever they are shooting at the dust bunnies? A. Actually, neither of them has any feet, so they do not have this problem. (MOG) Q. What is the inside joke to GH's line "Indeed! Killer dust bunnies!"? A. Watch the first movie, jerky! (WAS) Q. What the hell is "Project Nipple Ring"? A. It's the code name for the covert government research project on killer dust bunnies, being carried out at a top secret military installation. But mainly, it was a quick & dirty way to cue Omar's entrance into the bathroom. Unfortunately, it proved to be difficult for Steve to say without giggling. (MOG) Q. What is the significance of the Alien showing up in the reactor meltdown scene? A1. All you psych students out there should know the answer to this one. It is obviously a reference to our love/hate oedipal complex relationship with our mothers (the figurine is that of the Alien Mother Queen). Here we are expressing the power that she holds over us and are somewhat frightened of it. You must have also noticed that all of the guns in this movie, especially GH's "hardware" are actually phallic symbols, and that the Bathroom scene has some homoerotic undertones to it 8). (WAS) A2. Actually, the filmmakers were a bit slap happy at the time they filmed that scene and had to get by without the use of most of their higher brain functions. Does that answer your question? (MOG) Q. What the hell is the figure that says "Eldrad Must Live" during the reactor meltdown scene? A. Well since the scene had already gotten very silly we decided to throw in Matt's Cyberman figure which he got for a donation of only $40 to the local P.B.S. station. Since this character was from "DR. WHO" we had to throw in a quintessential line from a Tom Baker episode. We should have put in a reference to the Nimon episode since it seems to be shown almost every other week. (WAS) Q. How is it when GH and CS fire at the DBs with their guns none of the typical gun fire flares can be seen? And also since they fired so close to the ground how is it that they were not harmed by the ricochets? A. GH uses a special electromagnetic pulse infrared laser ammunition, designed by a top secret DoD facility (interestingly enough the same location where the original DB was stored and escaped) for troops to use in xenophobic exterminating missions (such as the one General Hawk is on). The E.P.I.L. ammo burns wholes straight through targets and is somewhat effective on the DBs, the rate of fire just happens to be similar in sound to conventional bullets. Because of the E.P.I.L.`s nature the beams either burn through the target or when impacted the floor absorbs enormous amounts of heat. (OAT) Q. Was Omar the BoD an Evil person, or was he just brainwashed into helping the bunnies in the end of the movie? A. The actor who played Omar, Omar, was pumped so full of psychoactive substances throughout the duration of the film that he should not be held accountable for any of his actions. (MOG) Q. What the hell is a "Halcyon Flux Generator?" Doesn't Halcyon actually mean "Calm?" A. "Halcyon" does indeed mean "peaceful" or "serene," and that describes what the Halcyon Flux Generator does--regulating the nuclear reactions and processes within a nuclear reactor so that everything is hunky-dory. If the HFG fails (like through computer override), then everything goes kablooie! (SC) [Creator's note:] I'm really surprised that just by pulling a term out of my ass during filming it actually made some sense. I sort of knew what the word "halcyon" meant, so I just must have gotten lucky. I guess all that studying I did for the GRE actually paid off 8). (WAS) Q. Why couldn't Confucius Slime and General Hawk turn the wheel on the Halcyon Flux Generator? A. A better question would be, "Why were Confucius Slime and General Hawk trying to push the wheel in opposite directions?" (MOG) Q. How did CS and GH survive the nuclear explosion/meltdown in the film's suspenseful, climactic finale? A. Here is one possible solution: It is a widely accepted fact in science fiction (which was also established in DB^4 and DB^5) that all extraterrestrials (such as OO) and all mutants (such as PI) have the ability to teleport at will. Well you might have noticed that there is a resemblance between PI and CS, this is because they are brothers born and raised on a potato farm in rural New Hampshire. PI was interested in science and was doing work with vegetable gene splicing and a lab accident caused him to mutate, giving him his special tuber powers. CS, on the other hand was not into science but into Rock and Roll instead. When he left for the big city of Troy N.Y. to start his music career with Puss-Buckets Limited, PI wanted to protect his younger brother from the cruel world he was about to enter. Using his genealogy skills, he was able to induce certain special powers in his brother without turning him into a total mutant. The only side effect was that his hair turned purple, and every other full moon CS turns into an overweight bear anthropomorph with an insane craving for one of Louie's banana-coconut milkshakes. CS was able to use this secret ability to safely teleportate him and GH to Chris Kapostasy's (his close personal friend) summer cottage on the shores of Lake Tahoe. (WAS) Q. How did Omar, Boy of Destiny survive the atomic blast at the end of the movie? A. Since he disappeared about halfway through the movie, he simply had more time to run away with a DB! (SC) Q. Exactly how much damage did the reactor explosion at the end of DB^5 do? A. Nearly half of the School was destroyed in the initial explosion, and a more powerful shockwave leveled the surrounding Capital District. Unfortunately for the remaining students class was still scheduled for the next day! (OAT) Q. Why did RPI have a nuclear reactor anyway? A. Because of the cold winters experienced here in Troy, there is a large demand by the heaters in the dorms and other campus buildings. Since they are into the "minimal interference" idea, they just leave the heat on all the time, with the thermostats apparently set for about 120 degrees in freshman dorms. Because of this, students are required to keep their windows open to avoid sweating to death. This causes an even larger power drain and instead of investing in another committee to investigate, RPI went ahead and bought an old Soviet nuclear power plant (which explains the reason for the mechanical system being the primary and the computers being the backup). (JDC) Q. Why does GH always want Ben and Jerry's ice cream? A. During the 'Nam, GH had constant exposure to napalm, which he felt made him more aggressive ("I love the smell of napalm in the morning!"). GH heard a rumor (through a friend of a friend), that B&J use napalm as an ingredient in their ice cream, explaining why their ice cream is so much heavier and denser than other brands. (SC) Q. Why does GH drive a Saturn and not a Humvee? A. It is a Humvee, but it was customized to look like a Saturn because GH got sick and tired of Troylets asking him about his vehicle ("I've never seen a car like that before!"). (SC) Q. So what was CS doing at RPI? (Since he never did answer GH's question in the film.) A. CS was booked to play at Mother's, but UPAC didn't know he was a grunge/metal/rock/rap star and thought he was a former Beatle. So when he arrived, UPAC canceled his act and got Kevin Blackington to play instead. Since he now had free time on his hands, CS joined GH to fight the DBs.(SC) Q. What foley edits were used in this movie? A. Omar did the sound effects for the bunny when he was feeding it, this was done during filming. Matt added the cat's meows during dubbing for the cat vs. the dust bunny scene. (WAS) Q. What is the best line from the movie? A. I vote for "Look how this nut what give it to me" (WAS) I second that. (MOG) Q. what was the best blooper in the movie? A1. I vote for "Yo man, I'm Confucius Slime, the famous Country Western music star ... whoops I meant to say 'Rap Metal Grunge star'" (WAS) A2. Although the entire movie could be interpreted as one painfully extended blooper, my favorite individual flub was the bit in the lavat'ry when Omar was in the stall, zipping & unzipping his fly. (MOG) Q. Why wasn't there more rock climbing in DB^V? A. Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Does that answer your question? (MOG) (see MST3K, "The Lost Continent"!) Q. Why wasn't "digital wire removal" used to disguise the threads that pulled the dust bunnies? A. No more questions, please; you're getting punchy. (MOG) Q. Has this film been shown to any non RPI people? If so how did they react? A1. Last night (3/23/93) I showed the movie (DB^5) to four or five friends of mine in the lounge and they all enjoyed it. They didn't get the RPI/E-dorms jokes but they really enjoyed the campyness/cheesyness of it Particular scenes of interest were the death scenes, especially the ones that I were in. They really got a kick of John Lee's quote "Look how this nut what give it to me." Which is definitely the quote of the movie. They also liked all of the discontinuities...like my jacket coming off and on and how it keeps changing from day to night. They got a kick out of me playing Confucius Slime. They also really liked the scenes of all the dust bunny covert action and said we should have put more of those in the movie. They loved the cotton candy scene when Matt tosses the cotton everywhere. They also loved the cat scene where the cat attacks the bunnies ...they really liked Matt's dubbed in meows. (WAS) A2. One of my roommates watched the whole thing, another one of my roommates came back home and watched bits of it. The first roommate, Pete, missed a lot of the inside E-Dorms jokes. Surprisingly, in the scene where I'm getting out of the car, he saw you in the passenger seat. During the film, he thought that some of the camera work was interesting, like our reflections in the puddle of water. He knew that the sounds that the cat was making weren't real. The second roommate, Vlad, also missed a lot of the E-Dorms jokes. He was wondering why every time your character died, you put the DBs into your mouth. He recognized the Battle Wagon since he had seen it before in my room. I'm planning on showing DB^5 to more of my friends this weekend. (SC 3/31/93) A3. From Steve (4/26/93): A while ago, I sent a copy of all five DB films to a friend I made back in Taiwan. Here's what he had to say: Hey Stephen, I just saw your dust bunnies videos. They were awesome. Well, at least 1, 2, and 5. I guess you got a bit lazy with 3 and 4. They were done really well, I was surprised. I watched it with two of my fraternity brothers and they really liked it a lot. They want to do a similar thing here at school for MIT cable. One of my friends is taking a film class right now and he thought your stuff was really professionally done. It did look really impressive and even the plot was funny. So are there any more in the works? [Creator's note:] Excerpts of this should be used for our TV ads. 8) [Editor's note:] I still can't believe any sane person would say such things about the DB films. A4. From Steve (6/2/93): I showed DB^5 to some more friends before I left. I also showed it to Gargar while I was home. DB^5 only further confirmed the fact that I spend my time in strange ways. Matt Replied (6/2/93): >DB^5 only further confirmed the fact that I spend my time in strange ways. That about sums it up! :) A5. An excerpt taken from a conversation between Matt and Steve on 2/15/93. The subject was showing previous DB movies to other people (the movie in question is "DB^2: The Mutation," which uses the LES MISERABLES theme song for both the beginning and ending credits). >Steve, have you been showing the DB tapes to normal people? Actually, I have. In fact, one friend said she can never enjoy the theme of Les Miz again!! A6. Ed Perkins, RPI graduate and Leonard Maltin look-alike, was overheard 7/4/93 saying the following to Will: "It is kind of scary how good you guys are getting at making these movies." Scary, indeed. Dunno 'bout the "good" part, though! (MOG) Q. What did the other actors think of the movie? A1. Showed Jon & Omar the movie last night and, sorry to say, they both jumped out a third-story window about halfway through. Bummer. I guess this means our film should be rated NW ("No way": unsuitable for any audience anywhere). (MOG 3/25/93) A2. Hey it was more enjoyable than "Toys"! (OAT 3/25/93) A3. It was an emotional roller coaster, it was better than Cats, I'm going to see it again and again. It was an emotional roller coaster, it was better than Cats, I'm going to see it again and again. It was an emotional roller coaster, it was better than Cats, I'm going to see it again and again. It was an emotional roller coaster, it was better than Cats, I'm going to see it again and again. It was an emotional roller coa.... (JDC 3/25/93) Q. What was that fabulous music I heard in DB^5? A. Funny you should ask... In order of thef-- er, appearance (compiled by MOG): [OMPS = Original Motion Picture Soundtrack] "Main Title" ..... Thomas Newman, from OMPS of "The Player" "Main Title" ..... Brad Fiedel, from OMPS of "The Terminator" "The Motion of Stars" .......... Vangelis, from "Direct" "Strange" ........ R.E.M., from "Document" Drum Roll ........ Vancouver Dust Bunny Marching Ensemble, from "The Vancouver Dust Bunny Marching Ensemble Plays the Golden Marching Band Hits of the 40s and 50s in Stereo" "St. James" ...... Thomas Newman, from OMPS of "The Player" "End Titles" ..... Vangelis, from OMPS of "Bladerunner" "Superman" ....... R.E.M., from "Life's Rich Pageant" "Satisfaction" ... Rolling Stones; Performed by DEVO, from "Are We Not Men" Allegretto ....... Ludwig van Beethoven, from his Symphony No. 6 in F major "The Sun, Whose Rays..." ........ Gilbert & Sullivan, from "The Mikado" "Dead or Alive" .. Oingo Boingo, from "Good For Your Soul" "Two-Headed Dog".. Rocky Erickson and the Aliens, from "The Evil One" "Intergalactic Radio Station" .. Vangelis, from "Direct" "Nightgown of the Sullen Moon" .... They Might Be Giants, from "Miscellaneous T" "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" ..... R.E.M., from "Document" Q. What allusions to other movies, TV shows, or other works of fiction were used in DB^5? A. Here is a list of the allusions: CS's machine gun makes a clicking sound at the end of the long firing scenes...much like in PREDATOR (this allusion was made up after the movie was made to explain the clicking sound) The line "He's dead Jim." Was from Star Trek (McCoy to Captain Kirk). Other allusions to Star Trek were: CS: "Wow man that's like a star trek tricorder...wow that's some shit" Canadian Dude: "It's like a tribble on Star Trek" "Is that 1,2,3 then go, or is it go on 3?" - reference to "Lethal Weapon II" Aliens figure shows up several times, "Get away from her you bitch," was used in one scene to reenact a scene from Aliens Blowing up a nuclear reactor to kill off alien nasties has been used in several SF movies (Aliens for one) A Cyberman from DR. WHO shows up...it quotes "Eldrad must live" which is a line from a famous Tom Baker episode Omar having the bunny in a pickle jar at the end of the movie is reminiscent of the end of the new version of THE BLOB As pointed out by a friend of mine here at UNH (Andrew Crabb), the scene where we find Matt in the closet could be an unintentional allusion to the little girl hiding in the duct work in ALIENS The Dooodleooh Dooodleooh Dooodleooh sound and hand waving before and after the G.I. Joe flashback scene was ripped off from Wayne's World, a recurring skit on Saturday Night Live The scene where the Canadian dude dies while listening to R.E.M.'s "Superman" is a reference to the cool rock video made by famous video artist Will A. Sanborn, shot on location at 22 Waite Discorama. The computer scientist's use of the term "Jerky" ("Why do you want to know that, Jerky?") was a throwback to prank calls made by "The Jerky Boys," which have been circulating as bootlegs and are now available commercially. The band CS is with, "Puss-Buckets Limited", is probably a subconscious reference to Public Image Limited whos lead vocalist used to be called "Johny Rotten" in his Sex Pistol Days. Many references were made to Gomez Addams, a cult figure in the E-dorms Men's League and the GM Week Fascist Party, we even got him to ghost-direct this movie A few references were made to previous dust bunny movies such as: "Indeed, killer dust bunnies! (which was then followed by uncontrolled laughter)" "They're white and fluffy, but do not be deceived by their innocuous appearance!" Q. What products had endorsements in the movie? A. Ruffles potato chips M&M's candies (they were upset by missing the endorsement chance with E.T. so they wanted to be in this top selling science fiction movie instead). Welches 100% Natural Juices ("WORD!") Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream The swimsuit edition of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED which Omar reads before he goes to bed Saturn Cars Hasbro G.I. Joe toys Kenner Aliens toys Dr. Who toys Austin computers (used in all high-tech nuclear reactor controllers) Corona Beer (at least the bottles, which our heroes drunk out of after the climactic display of pyrotechnics near the end of the flick) The PLAYBOY calendar (only in the out-takes ...catch Gen. Hawks commercial plug in "The Making of DB^5") Haines Briefs (also in the out-takes, worn by CS and slightly visible when he does his impression of Adam Sandler from Saturday Night Live doing an impersonation of rapper Marky Mark, "Yo Man Check It Out") Q. Okay. We must be done now, right? A. Hee hee. We're just getting started, sucka! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ #IV. Assorted DYKs: (supplied by MOG) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ - DYK that almost an hour of planning went into the making of DB^5? - DYK that the budget for DB^5 was over 10.1 dollars? - DYK that none of the actors in DB^5 were brain-washed, drugged, or otherwise coerced to perform in the film? - DYK that one poor sod actually turned down a role in DB^5? - DYK Omar A. Turner, who portrayed The Boy of Destiny, is not a professional actor? - DYK that DB^5 was the first film in the DB series to feature a non-inflatable female character? - DYK that all the product endorsements in DB^5 were included in the film voluntarily by the filmmakers, without compensation from the manufacturers? - DYK that some scenes in DB^5 were actually shot using incredibly detailed miniature replicas of General Hawk and Confucius Slime? - DYK that the filmmakers actually gave up several hours of sleep in order to make DB^5? - DYK that even Alan Smithee turned down the opportunity to direct DB^5? - DYK that General Hawk and Confucius Slime might have been killed in the atomic explosion had they not ducked around a corner? - DYK that in real life, dust bunnies actually look nothing like cotton candy? - DYK that in real life, running around a corner isn't a very effective way to escape a nuclear fireball? - DYK that a sneeze travels at over 150 miles per hour? - DYK that the wig worn by Confucius Slime came from Estee Lauder and cost over $2,000 ? - DYK that Brandon Lee actually died making DB^V before he died making "The Crow"? - DYK that "DYK" stands for "did you know"? Didn't think so. Some more Misc. DYKs: (Supplied by SC) - DYK that the G.I. Joe figures used as stand-ins for Confucius Slime and General Hawk were also used in the G.I. Joe death scene? - DYK that the fluffy white and gray cat was an uncredited cameo? - DYK that Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream paid Stephen Chan his weight in BBQ flavored pork rinds for his plugging of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream in the film? - DYK that RPI is such an apathetic campus that a guy wearing a wig and shades, and a guy wearing military clothing and carrying a mock M-16 rifle, can run around the RPI campus without being questioned? - DYK that Confucius Slime and General Hawk will move on the bigger game, namely Barney the Dinosaur, in their next pulse-pounding, intellect stupefying film? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- #V. Assorted DYNs: (Supplied by MOG) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- - DYN that the opening credit montage to DB^V was really cool? - DYN that the movie went steadily downhill from there? - DYN that General Hawk is a very conscientious driver? - DYN that many of the staircases used at various points in DB^V looked very similar? - DYN the off-screen TV voice talking about the academy awards in the scene where the Boy of Destiny walks through the kitchen to pass out a few bunnies? - DYN the funny facial expressions put on by Jon "Holy Shit" Carter in his close-up scenes? - DYN the glee with which General Hawk describes the killer dust bunnies? "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" - DYN that, despite its 45-minute running time, not much happened in DB^V? - DYN that there was an awful lot of running in DB^V? - DYN that the footage of General Hawk and Confucius Slime running down a gray concrete spiral staircase was used three times? - DYN that between the two adjoining shots of GH and CS running down the stairs past the Welch's 100% Fruit Juice vending machine, CS and GH automagically switch positions? (WAS) - DYN the pictures of Gomez on CS's T-shirt and on the wall behind the BoD in the final scene? - DYN that Confucius Slime reversed the famous M&M's slogan? ("Melts in your hands, not in your mouth!") (SC) [Creator's note:] In interviewing the actor whose stunning performance of CS will surely gain the attention of the Film Institution, or at least the Psychiatric Institution, said that this was done on purpose, but of course it could be a Freudian slip about his mother or his dog 8) ). - DYN that four of the actors played more than one charcter in the movie, which shows the superb level of talent involved in this endeavor? (WAS) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- #VI. An Important DYC: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- - DYC about this movie? The producers certainly didn't 8) (WAS) (As they'd say in MST3K..."They Just Didn't Care...." at least we didn't have any gratuitous rock climbing scenes.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ #VII. Assorted statistics: (supplied by MOG) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Number of times General Hawk explains that the dust bunnies "exscaped from a maximum-security research installation" ...................... 3 - Number of times Confucius Slime says the word "word" .............................................. 17.3 - Number of RPI students who were surprised to see General Hawk burst into the room brandishing an M-16 & Grenade Launcher ....................... 0 - Number of times The Boy of Destiny looks at the camera and says "OK?" in the middle the scene .................................................... 4 - Number of times the three main characters' costumes change instantaneously between shots ........................................................ 4 - Number of scenes in which the cameraman's shadow is visible: ........................................... 3 - Number of scenes in which the camera's reflection is visible ........................................ 3 - Number of scenes in which the cameraman can be heard snickering at the silliness he is filming ................................................ 5 - Projected percentage of audience members who will be confused and/or bored into a hypnotic stupor while viewing DB^5 ......................... 98 - Number of death scenes that had to be cut short in order to edit out the audible flatulence of the [presumably dead] dust bunny victim ...................................... 2 - Number of times the actors deviated from the script .................................. Script? What script? (see below) Note: A script for this film has never surfaced. It is widely held that the only copy of the document was accidentally destroyed during filming of one of the film's spectacular pyrotechnic effects scenes. Nonetheless, rumors persist regarding the script's alleged serialization in the journal "Teen Beat", none of which have been verified, since no one who comes into contact with the magazine possesses the reading skills to reliably identify the document. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- #VIII. Early Ideas for DB^5: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here are some random ideas that were tossed around before the story line was decided on. These ideas were all scrapped, but they provide some extra padding and perhaps some enjoyment for the reader. The actual script for DB^5 was never actually written down. The idea for the story was thought up in a moment of brilliance by Will about ten minutes before shooting began. This skeletal story was then modified by the other members of the cast and the production crew during filming. These following sections will give the reader some insight as to what goes on during the production of such a fine cinematic masterpiece. ----------------------------- 12/5/92: Will A. Sanborn I have been thinking about DUSTBUNNIES 5 and have come up with some random ideas: First of all I think we should try to make it somewhat of an epic and have it run around 30 minutes or so. We should also try to make it have a soundtrack by having background music in some of the scenes. A cool idea of this is for each of us to pick two or three songs and figure out how to work all of them into the movie (design the mood of the scene around the song) this would be the reverse of what is usually done for music in movies so it would be kind of random and weird, which would lend to the avante garde'ness of the production. Also since we each pick different songs we'd have a diverse soundtrack, with styles ranging from DEVO, to Belinda Carlisle, to Rush, to Debbie Gibson, to the Grateful Dead, Classical, Jethro Tull.... I think it should sort of be a continuation of number 2 (in a weird sense, Ill explain that later). So The Octaurian Overlord and Potato Ice won't be in it (we can work CS in though). I do think we should have some subtle references to DB 4&5 though, perhaps in a couple of scenes, in the background we could have the movies playing on the TV (like they do in a lot of real movies, it would add to the ambiance). It would also be neat to maybe show the Potato Ice video in one scene (if you guys don't mind), maybe we could have clips of "P.C." and "War Games" too. Now for my idea of the plot. I think the beginning of the movie could be a rip- -off of RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. Steve and Matt could be employees at some government storage depot somewhere (the basement of the CII perhaps). Matt would be an older guy and Steve would be a teenager. They would have a talk about all the weird things that are stored there; Steve would then ask Matt what the weirdest thing he's seen was: Matt: Well did you ever hear about the mutant man-eating dust bunnies of Doom? Steve: Give me a break, I just saw that movie on cable last Saturday at 3 in the morning. Matt: But that was based on reality. The survivors of the carnage tried to tell the whole world about it. Since they didn't tell the complete story and they made it in an underground studio, they were able to produce it without the government finding out until it was too late, by then it had been shown nation wide on some late-night creature feature. There was actually a case of killer dust bunnies about 5 years ago. It happened in the research lab of some well-known engineering school. The fools were messing around with recombinant DNA splicing and they actually created a living organism that not only was carnivores but it could also self-mutate at will. Steve: Wow what happened. Matt: Well after the colony mutated into some half human form it was destroyed by blowing up the whole laboratory. The only problem was that during the explosion the dust bunnies mutated again, creating a strain that was impossible to kill. The only thing they could do was try to contain it and keep it from falling into the wrong hands. That's why it wound up here. Well then of course Matt has to show Steve the secret box. they open it and see the dust bunny in the glass jar. Steve being just as stupid and clumsy as the assistant in the first two movies picks it up. Of course the jar is hot and it burns his hand, so he drops it, shattering the RECTAL TRANSPORTATION UNIT and letting the bunny escape to multiply and mutate and starting the 5th movie, we then go into the credits for DB^5... Now how can we link DB^2 into our sequel? This is easy, in one part of the movie Steve gets the brilliant idea of watching the movie he recorded off of cable and trying to figure out how they killed the bunnies in real life. We could watch several segments of it and try to decipher the FTOG formulas... Gen. Hawk will make a guest appearance leading the commando unit assigned to kill or contain the bunnies. Confucius Slime will also appear in the middle of the move, once there he will help the cast kill of the dust bunnies (and maybe sing a song or two). I have a good plan for how he gets in the movie. It turns out that his tour bus breaks down in LAKE EDNA (where our movie takes place) and as he's looking for a KFC to get some chicken he is chased by some mutant bunnies into the building where the heroes are hiding out. Now for my final brilliant idea, we can have some footage of NEWS 13 with Chris What we'll do is record a segment where Chris Talks and then Ed talks right after her. We'll then dub over what Ed says (if Matt's VCR still works) and add our own dialog about how the city is being overrun by mutant dust bunnies. ------------------------------ From: MOG ------------------------------------- ---- A Preliminary Plot Treatment For DB^V ---- ------------------------------------- Untitled, v1.0 beta by Matt Garretson The Characters: ?: Generic Guy, employatus marginalius, (Our Foolhardy Hero) ??: ?'s friend, The Sensible One (Co-Hero) Steve: The Honorable Senator C. Hawk (Chief Bad Guy) Omar: The Computer Operator (Would-Be Good Guy Gone Bad) Jon: The Loanshark (all-around Minion of Evil) Barney: A Big Fuzzy Purple Dinosaur Who Hypnotizes And Molests Kids Chrissy: Hot Little News Anchor / Sex Kitten On The Prowl The Supporting Characters: A Cast of Thousands, comprising many unknowing--even unwilling-- extras; i.e. whomever happens to wander within the camera's field of view without waving at said camera or saying "hi" to their mothers (this restriction may ultimately be removed due to the lack of frictionless surfaces, and numerous other reality constraints). The Sights (or, The Sites): Lots of places where video production crews don't belong, especially without permission. Some places will be Bright and Cheerful, while others will be Dark and Eerie. Still others may be Creepy and Kooky. Mysterious and Ookie settings will be avoided at all cost, however. The Sounds: Music supplied by R.E.M. and other greats, mixed skillfully with any dialogue or sound effects deemed necessary by the producers, including, but not restricted to, foul language, gratuitous computer beeps, and overwhelmingly repulsive bodily noises. DEVO music, which has recently been declared illegal in the United States, will be excluded from the soundtrack. Furthermore, anyone suggesting Julee Cruise music will be summarily executed. The Popcorn: Stale and Tainted. This voyage is most certainly doomed. The Cost: A certain amount of American currency, limited by the production budget (currently projected to be $7.53). Budget may at any time be expanded to include such sudden and undesired expenses as bail for cast and crew members incarcerated by the authorities for trespassing, obstructing traffic, high-sticking, etc.. Funds for "G.I. Joe" toys are not to be allocated from the production budget. The Women: Loose and wild, of course. The Plot: The Plot: The Plot???? Well, after all this, I haven't thought about it much yet. More on that tomorrow. Actually, I have thought about it, but it's past my bedtime (as the questionable coherence of the above ramblings may evince), so I can't type any more tonight. Signing off for Tonight -Matt ------------- >From Matt (2/11/93): Good idea about "Strange". It would be great for the opening of the movie. Your suggestion about the song gave me a few ideas. We absolutely *have* to shoot some of DB^V in the capital building. It is the coolest place, especially at night when it is dark & empty. Last night I was there till 1 AM; there are some creepy spots in there. Plus, there's a modern section connected, and a big parking garage too. I think that all these places would make great settings for scary/adventure scenes. --- forwarding of my ideas to Steve (I forgot to send them to him) deleted --- There ya have it, Steve! If we had a few days to work on it, we could make a decent video. I think we should definitely have a chase through the woods, a car chase, a chase through the capital, a chase through the Dead Central scene, and maybe another car chase for good measure. Then, of course, there's the obligatory chase-Chris-Kapostasy-naked-through-the-street scene. We could even get some gratuitous hockey footage at the RPI-Cornell game. Wow, just imagine the cinema magic that would happen when we throw 8,526 cotton balls out onto the ice during the 3rd period! Oh, the carnage! -------------------------------- Will's idea that Matt forwarded to Steve in above message: I've come up with yet another stupid idea for the dust bunny extravaganza and I though I'd bounce it off of you guys. I think it might be a neat idea to have a stupid chase scene (us being chased by the bunnies, and or vice versa) we could do it in the style of the old Scooby Doo chase scenes. We could even dub over a cheesy song like they always did in the cartoon. Maybe we could even splice in a couple of seconds of Scooby Doo footage for a bizarre effect (I believe USA network still airs Scooby Doo shows around 6 or 7 weeknights). Matt, what do you think about using "Strange" off of R.E.M. "Document" for the opening music credits? ----------------------------------- More ideas for DB^5 Will's: 1. Have a scene when all the characters are in a building hiding out from the dust bunnies. One of the characters asks Confucius Slime to perform a song for them. He lips syncs to some bizarre heavy metal/punk song (perhaps "Two Headed Dog" or something else by Rocky Ericson") while the other characters dance around and shake their heads up and down like metal heads. This would be a good time to do the Confucius slime dance and of course somebody could do the peanuts' slouch dance. 2. After the credits are done we put a generic movie video together. This would take some interesting and perhaps manic song and splice interesting clips from the movie over it. Steve's: 1. Make a spoof on the notion of newly-released director's cuts of movies that have been coming in vogue lately. We'd first have the normal version of the movie which would just be the credits and perhaps a random scene where a bunch of people get attacked and die. Then the movie would end and we'd have the closing credits. After this we'd show the director's cut (and make a big deal of it), the director's cut would be the normal movie. 2. Somewhere in the movie we could show this commercial on TV. It would be a rip off of the Kentucky Fried Chicken and Energizer commercials. It would start out with Confucius Slime plugging Tennessee Fried Chicken, then the Energizer bunny would come across the screen, when he gets in the middle of the screen he is attacked by dust bunnies, leaving only his shades and drum as remains. ----------------------------- From: Matt 2/20/93 DB^V The Setup: ---------- A long time ago (a week or two at least), in a dormitory far far away, a great battle took place between the evil Octaurian Overlord and the spudly superhero Potato Ice. The stakes were high; the ultimate fate of the universe lay in the balance. But before victory could be claimed by either of the two arch-rivals, both perished in a stupendous explosion. Or did they? Little did anyone know, the Overlord had been conducting strange, unusual, and generally bizarre experiments aboard his spaceship, the Tub O'Lard. Particularly ingenious were his achievements in the fields of teleportation, mind control, and food preparation. Without getting too technical, let's just say this stuff was so advanced that it baffled even the famed Wesley Crusher. As fate would have it, some of the Overlord's teleportation equipment had been left unattended in an unstable state at the time of the explosion, causing a violent chain reaction the likes of which had not been seen since... since ... well, since Event One. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that the explosion, although it did generally muck up the Overlord's experiments and jack up his insurance premiums, failed to completely destroy either the Overlord or Potato Ice. Instead, the atoms, energies, and overall essences of the two embittered super-beings were scattered about the Void like so many french fries, along with "flaming remnants of the horrid dust creature(s)". Of course, Hooseldorf's Third Law of Plot and Storyline Development dictated that the vast majority of these particles attain trajectories that would sent them spiraling towards the planet known to earthlings as Earth, which is exactly what happened. Furthermore, as predicted by Hooseldorf's Thirty-Eighth Law, these particles convened, without a trace of fanfare, upon a nameless grocery market, wherein they inexplicably penetrated a glass bottle resting on the second shelf in the southeastern portion of aisle B-2 which happened to contain a beverage known to earthlings as tomato juice. This bottle was purchased, along with a large bag of deep-fried jumbo hog entrails of assorted flavors, by an enthusiastically health-conscious sort named ?. And the rest, as they say, is history. Or at least it will be. History, that is. Rough Plot Outline Coupled with a Few Ideas for Specific Scenes: ---------------------------------------------------------------- Nighttime, in ?'s home. Camera opens on off-air static on TV. Pulls back over ?'s shoulder, to reveal him slumped over computer keyboard, motionless. Eerie music [1] combined with darkness of scene and years of cinematic conditioning will convince audience that ? is one dead dude. A door-knock is heard, and the camera quickly pans and tracks to see ?'s friend ?? peering quizzically through the opened door. Follows him as he enters and discovers ?'s body. He is taken aback, then cautiously checks for signs of life. Cut to close-up of ?'s face which, after a few moments springs suddenly to life in time to a burst of surprising music [2]. Eek! Laughter breaks tension. Turn lights on. Random conversation about ? working on project, etc.... ?? says fuckit, we have tickets to a hockey game so let's go. ? prepares, nonchalantly takes a big swig from a seemingly innocuous bottle--open--of tomato juice taken from desk next to computer. ?? does likewise, comments that the juice sucks. ? puts on jacket, both walk into camera saying "Let's go" or something succinct that can trigger the start of the cool opening credits music [3]. (Question: Should there be subtle/obvious evidence of bunny-sign shown to the audience in this scene? Maybe not?) Opening credits are interspersed with scenes of driving & going to hockey game; i.e. cool "road & travel" footage. Note: the bracketed numbers are for reference to specific songs. [3] would be "Strange" by R.E.M. [1] & [2] are undefined. . . . . Ok, now throughout the movie, ? exhibits little, increasingly weird quirks that point to his burgeoning dustbunnyhood: e.g. dropping to floor/rolling under bed to play with real dust bunnies; becoming fascinated by white pile of shaving cream in hand while shaving; being afraid of vacuum cleaners.. etc. Begins to have paranoid delusions that he is being pursued (i.e. by PI) This is shown by freaky dreamlike/hallucination sequences with unseen pursuer(s), etc. Good potential for chase scenes at night, in woods, parking garage, etc. I think some of these episodes can be funny, and some can be suspenseful... or some combo thereof. Meanwhile, ?? shows signs of becoming a human potato: e.g. can't eat french fries; plays with, but won't eat, mashed potatoes at dinner; "frees" captive tater tots from a TV dinner box, etc... Both know something is amiss, but can't figure out what. Maybe they trace their problems to the disgusting bottle of t-juice. Maybe they go ask friends for help, thus bringing in more characters into the story (if we can find people to play them!). Eventually, they fully become their respective alter-egos and do battle. But this time, I think the battle should have a little more action than in previous DB films! Hopefully, we can get some weaponry into the act, assuming there are additional characters (e.g. ninja/general hawk-type people) to join in/break up the combat. It might be funny if we stage the battles in public to get the reactions of strangers. Hmmm.... but then again maybe not. How should it end up? Do they regain their humanity and call a truce? Do they annihilate each other (& everyone else as well)? Does one achieve victory over the other? Do we leave it open? Do we set up a 1-900 number so the audience can vote on an outcome? So, what we have here is potential for THE CRAWLING HAND meets HIGHLANDER meets JACOB'S LADDER meets a bunch of other movies, all wrapped up in a tasty dust bunny coating. The fools won't know what hit them. Gentlemen, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with better/complimentary ideas for those mentioned above. Enough for now; my head hurts!!!! -Matt -------------------------------------- >From Matt (2/22/93) in reply to Steve's comments on his idea >I guess it looks like it'll be Confucius Slime (don't forget your wig and >toy gun, Will!) and Gen. Hawk against the dust bunnies! But who'll be the >main villain then? Perhaps Matt can wear his suit and his swim goggles and >he could be the Overlord's twin brother, who is a slimy politician! Either that, or how about this: we just steal some plot bits from the Terminator. Like, we say that only living matter can be transmitted, so ? turns into the Overlord, but without the uniform, so he steals it from some punk: "Youhr cloze: Gihv dem to me." And we say that Confucius Slime lost his ability to change into PI, so he just shows up as himself. Since he no longer has his super powers, he enlists the help of Gen. Hawk, and has to use guns instead of the mysterious Jello warfare he used as PI. I can whip up a pretty funky costume, what with my cycling & skiing clothes and all. And Steve, we know you have the proper threads for your part. And Will, your wig is half the costume right there. Then with some normal clothes combined in not-so-normal ways, your disguise would be complete. Problem is, we need to find some extra people to do such menial tasks as, ummmm.... say... I don't know.... hold the camera? :) Or we could switch back & forth really fast & only have 2 of us in any given scene. -------------------------------------- Steve's reply to the above message (2/22/93) >Either that, or how about this: we just steal some plot bits from the >Terminator. Like, we say that only living matter can be transmitted, so ? >turns into the Overlord, but without the uniform, so he steals it from some >punk: "Youhr cloze: Gihv dem to me." That sounds good, but it'll mean your first butt-cheeks scene! >And we say that Confucius Slime lost his ability to change into PI, so he >just shows up as himself Since CS and PI are two separate people, we could have a scene of burnt Price Chopper Crinkle Cut French-Fried Potatoes falling from the sky to show that PI didn't survive. But it might be too graphic a scene. >Problem is, we need to find some extra people to do such menial tasks as, >ummmm.... say... I don't know.... hold the camera? :) >Or we could switch back & forth really fast & only have 2 of us in any given >scene. Or we could put the camera on a stack of thick, engineering textbooks, set the camera on wide-lens, and don't have any chase sequences! --------------------------------------- Matt's reply to comments I made about his plot idea (2/22/93) > Or it could all be a dream. Hmmm. that's an idea. We could have ? & ?? have dreams about the Overlord & PI respectively, and cannibalize footage from the last 2 movies for those dream sequences. We can also use the .wav samples you gave me for those scenes. We can add echo & reverb to them to make them sound freaky. Then, we could get around the costume problem my saying that the Overlord & PI are just detached consciousness controlling the minds of these two earthlings to battle each other. ---------------------------------------------- Steve's reply to comments I made about Matt's plot (2/22/93) >Or it could all just be a movie that a bunch of college students are watching >back at their dorm room. > >Or it could all be a dream. > >Or ... oh well, you get the point. Or it could the hallucination of a student who ate too many potato starch products or too many BBQ pork rinds. ------------------------------------------ *As you can see a lot of thought (some of it not too serious) was being put into the movie a few days before we started filming. Matt's idea of bringing back Potato Ice and the Overlord was scrapped however because I did not want to resurrect the PI character since he had been killed off in a heroic battle against evil...let him rest in piece. Also I didn't have my PI costume...it now rests in the Gomez Addams hall of fame in the Hearne attic in the E-dorms. After DB^5 was made...it struck me that it was actually a prequel to movies *DB^3 and DB^4 since it included CS but not PI. (WAS) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ #IX. E-Mail Discussions Concerning Various Aspects to the Filming of DB^5: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- >From Matt (12/5/92) in response to my basic script ideas: It's cool that you've given some thought to the sequel. I'm going to see if someone who's still a lowly RPI student can get a camera (with sound) and a tripod that weekend. Say, Will, when do you think you'd be arriving in town? I might take Friday off from work, so that frees up more time. If all goes well, I'll also be taking off the entire week b4 Xmas, although I would like to go home sometime before the 23rd (!) so we'd have to wrap by then, including postproduction. I've booked the Villa Cafe as a caterer and arranged for some union drivers. Ernest Dickerson will be Dir. of Photography, but other than that, we'll have to hire unknowns for gaffer, keygrip, principal camera operator, etc.. I figure between the three of us, we can handle production design, script, dialog coaching, and the like. It'll be hard to get big name actors without a working script, but maybe we can lure some respectable names with just a preliminary treatment. Anthony Hopkins has expressed interest in the role of the Octaurian Overlord, although he would like to give the character some more depth and background. But he appears to relish the idea of doing a lot of evil laughing and mugging for the camera. I'm trying to get Irene Jacob for a female lead, but maybe we can give CK a supporting role. The exact locations haven't been quite worked out yet, but that's no emergency. What else? Oh yeah, I should tell you that just before I started typing the previous paragraph, an anvil fell on my head causing me to slip temporarily into a dazed fantasy state. Furthermore, there is a little birdie making a nest in my air conditioning unit. Toodeloo, Matt ------------------------ Of course we couldn't start filming during Christmas break because Steve was being a loser and had to correct papers for his Teaching Assistantship at Cornell. So I came up and hung out at Matt's for that weekend and we did a little talking about the movie...but not too much. Filming started on the weekend of February 26th when we could all get together (we also came up to watch RPI's hockey team destroy Cornell). (WAS) -------------------------- Message from Steve replying to Matt's script ideas (2/15/93) >As for the DB^V thing, I'm glad you liked it. I thought of some rough plot >elements, but they're pretty lame. Anyway, it still would be cool if we >could tape in some "exotic" locales. Like CK's bedroom and bathtub? Hubba hubba!! >BTW guys, did you know that the Troy Atrium has closed down? I guess you >two were its only customers, so when you left.... Really? Damn! Now we can't go see a flick with the fringes of the Troy population in the Atrium anymore!! >A week or two ago, there was a special report on TV about female news anchors >who were the targets of obsessed stalkers. Strangely, they made no mention of >CK. In time, in time.... Nobody saw me do it!! They can't arrest me! >Welp, I guess none of us can run for president now (unless we could >convince everyone that we had been smoking pot just before making the >videos)! :) But I didn't inhale! And I didn't look through the camcorder viewfinder!! --Stephen -------------------------------- This thread got started when I asked Matt if we could crash at his apartment These messages were all posted on 2/22/93. >From Matt: Sure. Rates are $139/night double occupancy. Children under 8 stay free. Visit our heated indoor swimming pool and par 10 golf course. Complimentary fruit basket and newspaper every morning. AAA approved. Thank you, The Management PS- Bring your sleeping bags! >From Steve: Truth in Advertising Department: -------------------------------- >Children under 8 stay free. (Because they sleep with Matt so he can bust their pelvises.) >Visit our heated indoor swimming pool (A bathtub filled with tepid water.) > and par 10 golf course. (Ten paper cups set up around the living room.) >Complimentary fruit >basket and newspaper every morning. (Price Chopper Fruity Rings cereal in a small Easter basket and a copy of last week's Metroland.) >AAA approved. (Association of Angst-ridden Aardvarks) Matt Replied: > Truth in Advertising Department: > -------------------------------- > etc... Ha ha ha! :) OK, you've caught onto my money-making scheme.... so for you, I'll cut the price down to $109.99. And I'll even add some extra dog piss to the bathtub to make it nice and warm. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ #X. Editing Script ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ After the first weekend of filming I decided to write a preliminary editing script for when we came back and finished the movie in two weeks. I sent it to Matt and Steve, and Matt sent back comments on it. Proposed editing script for DB^V, please e-mail me any revisions or suggestions (or just trash the whole thing 8) ) - Will Created 3/3/93 >> Comments added 3/4/93 (wow, how official) Show scenes of RPI labs, show scene of dust bunny escaping, show flashing warning light, show computer error message "Warning, containment unit breached" Have a second or so of feedback footage as a neat wipe >> I'm not as enthusiastic as you about these wipes, but let's see how it >> works. It might be cool, though. Besides, there's no other logical way >> to work in that effect; except maybe in relation to the reactor overload. Show Omar finding dust bunny, he says he'll take care of it >> One thing I thought of is that we should have shot a few seconds of Omar >> walking along so we can establish him before he finds the bunny. Oh well. Another feedback wipe >> Now that I think about this, it might be cooler than I thought at first. Show Gen. Hawk getting into car and drive off. Start the credits and the credits music ("Strange" by R.E.M.), during the credits cut in scenes filmed during the car trip to Troy At the end of the credits show Gen. Hawk getting out of the car, he gets out his gun and says "Let's rock." Show him walking down the street >> When did we tape him saying this? Are you talking about the footage of him >> walking up Sage towards the Prudent Onion? Cut to Omar in his room taking care of the dust bunny, he goes to sleep, when wakes up, there are many bunnies so he gives them away to all of his friends. Show scene of mean Steve Chan taking the bunny last, he slams the door and then we hear screaming from his room. Another feedback wipe (maybe) Show scenes of covert dust bunny operation. Use footage that was taken in Matt's apartment of the bunnies moving around, also show the stop action sequence of the bunnies multiplying. Also show the scenes of the bunnies running around in front of the TV as it plays a scene from DB^2. >> I think we might want to shoot some more stop-action bunny footage. Show scene of me dying in John's room as I listen to "Superman" by R.E.M. Show some other random death scenes, show the scene with Matt and the cat and the bowl of "cotton candy," show another random death scene, show the cat battling the bunnies and chasing them around (show several scenes of these interspersed with other death scenes), maybe include the scene with Gargar for comic relief. Definitely show the scene of Steve leaving the shower (too bad he has his towel on, otherwise we could have had a nice scene for the NC-17 version of the movie 8) ). >> I think we should try to use the footage with Gargarmel, Steve, and >> Mimimimi, even if it's just a second or two of each (to cut out as much >> laughter as possible) interspersed rapidly with the other death scenes. Feedback wipe Show General hawk walking around campus, he goes in the student union and then goes and buys some "Ben & Jerry's" (product plug) ice cream, show scene of Confucius Slime buying the M&M's (we will not bow down to any sponsor) in fathers food emporium. GH and CS meet and GH tells him about the bunnies, he mentioned how his unit was killed by them. Show stop-action footage of G.I. Joe men and the horrible mutant dust bunnies >> We might want to do some more closeups of this scene; e.g. simulate the >> figures running around & fighting bunnies. GH and CS talk some more, GH gives CS a gun, they leave the union. As they walk down the street they talk about the bunnies a little bit and GH shows CS his cool tricorder that looks remarkably like a remote control unit for a video camera. GH and CS walk up to the E-dorms, up the stares and then knock on the door. John opens up the door, takes a double take and lets our two heroes in. GH talks to John about the dust bunny threat, because of security reasons, the three of them convene to the "latrine" for a private discussion. Soon Omar knocks on the door and says he has to use the facilities, they let him in and continue to talk in private. Hearing about the bunnies, Omar says that he gave them to all of his friends. >> How did this scene turn out? Is anything visible/audible in the bathroom? >> I can't wait to see the blooper in the first take when we all cracked up >> at the sound of the zipper. The four of them then run out of the bathroom, down the stairs, and then up a different set of stairs that just happens to look the same as the other set of stairs. They rush into john's room and see what's left of one of the unfortunate victims. They rush out of that room only to find another body on a different (yet somehow the same) set of stairs, they shoot these bunnies and rush outside since GH said they (the bunnies) were heading toward the main power source on campus. They turn around to find John has been killed by the bunnies, they shoot these bunnies, then race off to the CII and JEC buildings. Show a few running scenes, then Omar disappears. CS notices it but they say that they've got bigger bunnies to fry. The two of them run around campus, then run into the CC, they run around some more, intersplice cuts of the bunnies running around (taken from Matt's apartment), during this minute and a half or so we could play some upbeat but bizarre song (I cast my vote for They Might Be Giants). >> As you mentioned at the time, maybe we should have had a change in setting >> for some of the "bunnies in motion" scenes. The carpet in my room kind of >> spoils the atmosphere of the CII. A couple of more running scenes, our two remaining heroes stumble on a random person in the iEAR lab and they ask him if he's seen the dust bunnies, he says no so they run off. Another minute or so of running around, splicing in bunny footage too, have some more music for this. Show scene where GH and CS startle the D&D gamers. Show a couple of more running scenes, then show the scene where our two heroes take a much needed break and discuss how tired they are. Then GH says they should cut and album together. Start CS music (by Rocky Erickson and show them jumping and dancing around for a couple of minutes). >> This might be another place to work in some of the feedback wipes. Scene in the JEC tunnel where they find a colony of bunnies and terminate them with extreme prejudice. GH takes out his tricorder and says that the bunnies are heading for the main reactor. Show a running scene and then they stumble into another room, where they find Matt in a closet, they interrogate him and find out where the reactor is. Scene where they find the manual override switch but the bunnies have jammed it so they go off in search of the computer room. >> The reason I suggested that Steve bring down 2 figures that look like CS >> and GH is that I wanted to try using them in conjunction with the footage >> of the model of the reactor. We could have the footage of the model playing >> on TV, and hold the figures up in front of it like they're walking through >> it, or running away from it (when it's shaking all over the place) just >> before it explodes Dunno, maybe this would be too cheesy. Nahhh.... Show sign that says "CPU Room," they run in a doorway, cut to scene in Matt's apartment where they meat the computer nerd and get him to blow up the computer. They run out of the computer room, run down a hallway and out of the JEC screaming they only have 5 minutes before the whole place blows. >> See above. Show a computerized warning message that states that the place will self destruct, if possible use a voice synth to dub over a warning message Show footage of a mushroom cloud (I've got this on a DEVO video, remind me to bring it up) Either cut to black or do another funky feedback wipe. Show news footage where we dub over Ed Dague's voice saying that RPI was blown up. Matt if possible could you tape a bunch of news footage so we can get a scene where they're talking about a disaster. Of course will have to have the tail end of a story that Chris was talking about (the dumber the better). >> As soon as I get my VCR back..... Cut to black, then cut to the scene where GH and CS are drinking in a room somewhere celebrating a job well done. Cut to scene of Omar with the last dust bunny. Cut to credits. ****************************************************************** I think we should have the extras in the movie listed by what they said when they received the dust bunnies, like in the Naked Gun. >> Yeah, that's a good idea. It beats coming up with lame names for >> everybody. Besides, no one would be able to connect the names with the >> characters. I think Steve and I should have names for the characters we played when we received the bunnies. The idea I have for me is Spuds McKenzie as a playoff of the McKenzie Brothers (Strange Brew eh?), my alleged potato(e) fetish, and of course that stupid beer dog. I don't know what we can name Steve. For Omar and John we should just call them Guy #1 and Guy #2. >> I'm not sure we should give anybody names. For the main characters (you, >> Steve, Omar, & maybe Jon) maybe we could just use a phrase that describes >> the character. In the movie "Slacker", they did this for the whole cast >> (like 80 people). They had credits like "Buys newspaper", "Dostoevsky- >> Wannabe", "Hates aliens", and "Drives yellow car". Maybe this won't work >> so well for us, though. Well any creative ideas? >> Let's scrap the whole project. Just kidding! :) :) :) :) >> I think we need a second CD player so we can fade from one song to another. >> Hopefully Steve can bring his portable. We can play samples on the >> Soundblaster for incidental sounds, like machine guns. Too bad it's got >> such lousy quality. Can you bring down your PAS? -Will >> - Matt ------------------------------------- Steve's Comments to the script (3/3/93) I liked the script and it was funny. But we gotta stick in some "commercials." What I could do is record those "Sunday Night at the Movie" messages that appear before and after commercials. Then when we come up on March 12 we could film some bogus commercials. For the news scene right before the end, it might be funny if Ed or Chris is talking about the winner of Odor Eaters' "Smelliest Sneaker in America" Contest (or some other stupid contest) and then say "And, oh, by the way, RPI blew up tonight. Good night." Whatever. As for the name of my mean dorm resident character, how about "Gilbert Gottfried Iago"? For the movie's subtitle, here are some random ideas: -The Multicultural Terror -We Filmed Outside of RPI for Once! -This Movie Still Doesn't Have a Female Lead! -Ross Perot Isn't In This -Do We Have to Pay Royalties to Don Reiff Since He Came Up With the Dust Bunny Concept? -It Ain't Jaws! -The Invasion -Lethal Terror -We'll Recruit Chris Kapostasy Next Time ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ #XI. Production Log for "DB^5: Dead Men Don't Fart" (WAS) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sat 2/27/93 - Filmed all day and into the night...we finally got to bed at around 4:00 in the morning. Sat 3/13/93 - Filmed from around 12:00 to 4:00 or so. By then it was snowing really bad so we drove slowly back to Matt's apartment, Omar came with us since he had nothing better to do. We had finished all of the shots outside of Matt's apartment by then. We hung around the apartment while he went to his office at the state assembly and waited for the ray- traced introduction for "Gomez Productions" to get finished (he started it that morning...it still took several hours at 320 x 200 resolution running on a 486 since there were over 300 frames). We got really worried about him since he was late getting back...he finally got back at 9:30 or 10:00. His car had broken down ...and he had to walk back (2 miles), luckily he was able to get a ride from someone driving by in a truck. The rest of the night we hung out, watched TV and ate frozen pizza (we cooked it first of course) and wine coolers. It was a really fun night. We went to the local Menands Price Chopper to get the food. It was really fun walking there. It was after the storm had calmed down...it was actually the eye of the storm since it started up a while later. It was cool walking around and playing in the huge snow banks ...there was a lot more snow than we had seen in quite some time (the past few winters have been extremely dry...but not this one). We ended up getting over 20 inches of snow! The situation was declared a state emergency, but as long as we were in a nice warm apartment (and the electricity didn't go out), we were having a ball. It was sometime that night when we were mentioning the scenes where Matt and Steve farted after being dead. Omar made the joke about "DB^5 Dead Men Don't Fart." It was so silly that we had to use it for the subtitle. It was today when the camera got dropped...but we were still able to use it for filming and editing. It only caused one glitch that I know of. Sun 3/14/93 - We all got up around noon or so. We finished filming the remaining scenes...like the TV background with G.I. Joe figures scenes and the credits and then I started editing. I did the editing while Steve and Matt dug out the cars. Matt then had his car towed to a garage to get it fixed. Finally they took Omar back to the dorms and hung out there; I stayed at Matt's to do more editing. I edited pretty much from 2 PM to around 2 AM It was hell but I got a lot done. When I went to be it occurred to me that I hadn't gone outside all day. That was pretty bizarre. Luckily there was pizza for me to eat. Mon 3/15/93 - Got up at around noon again. We finished editing (Matt and Steve did some of it) . We then went to pick up Matt's car, which now worked since they replaced the starter. Then we went to Lechmere to purchase a new camera (Matt and I just swapped cameras). After dinner we started to do the sound dubs. These like the edits took a lot more time than we thought they would. Matt and I took turns working on it. While I was editing he was finishing writing the program we used to display the credits on his computer. Steve slept through most of this (big surprise), except at the end when we woke him up to dub in our voices in some of the scenes which came out really soft. Finally the movie was done at around 2:00 or so. It was really cool to watch it. It was neat but might not have been worth all of the aggravation (editing was a bitch and wore on everybody's nerves, especially from lack of sleep). Still it was fun and I'm glad we made it. It came out pretty well for four days of work. We were all really impressed with how it came out. The plot was kind of lacking and the idea has been beaten to death...but it was still really funny. By the time we had finished making copies for everyone, I managed to get about an hour and a half of sleep. Driving home the next day wasn't too fun...but at least it was a nice sunny day and I didn't fall asleep. It was a really interesting way to spend the beginning of my spring break (which is why I could stay until Tuesday morning, Steve didn't have any Monday classes and skipped his first Tuesday class and went to the one he had in the afternoon). When I got back to UNH I went into the lab. When I saw my advisor wasn't in I went home and slept for 5-6 hours. They only got 13-14 inches here...pretty wimpy compared to what we got in New York. It was a really exhausting weekend...but it was also a lot of fun. We packed a lot into those four days and it made for some great memories. The blizzard was a cool touch too...that made it even more memorable. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- #XII. A Treatise on the History of the Dust Bunny Saga (unfinished) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here's something random that I've had festering on my hard drive since the night I saw Point of No Return. It sort of lost its steam as I fell asleep, and so remains unfinished. I was keeping it in case I decided to work on it again, but I never regained the motivation. (MOG 6/21/93) "Where Did They Come From? From Where Did They Originate?" A Treatise on the History of the Dust Bunny Film Saga by "Leonard Maltin" -------------------------------------- (Well, maybe not a _treatise_...) Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the cosmetics aisle... some young upstart cinema geniuses at RPI unleashed upon the world an unholy terror the likes of which had never before been encountered: the killer dust bunny film genre. The year was 1988 AD. The place was freshman dormitory Bray Hall at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York. These filmmaking "geniuses", none too bright by most other accounts, had been duped into believing that the "Art of the Film" course offered by the 'Tute would afford them a leisurely 3-credit stroll through the semester via what upperclassmen had termed "Monday night at the movies". Well, actually, they had not been misled at all. But nevertheless, to keep themselves in the RPI spirit, they delayed work on the single project required for the course until the last possible minute so that the whole thing would seem a lot more difficult and important than it actually was. The project was to create some sort of... of... well, some sort of project. Our heroes, knowing full well that writing was considered outre' at RPI, decided to make a film-- uh, movie-- or rather, *ahem*, a video. And thus Stephen Chan, Matthew Garretson, Craig Neuwirt, and Brian Welcher set the machine in motion.... In trying to come up with a thematic direction for the film, this group of budding C.B. DeMilles tossed around such mind-bogglingly fascinating possibilities as "Life at RPI", "Studying for a test at RPI" and "A party at RPI". Things didn't really start to come together until classmate, co-dorm-resident, and friend, Don Reiff appeared and mentioned in passing his idea of "a movie about some dust bunnies that kill people". Well, our heroes knew a good idea when they heard one, and Mr. Reiff was assimilated into the nascent filmmaking group posthaste, along with his "killer dust bunny" concept, which -- once everyone figured out just what the hell a dust bunny was -- was adopted without dispute as The Subject Of The Movie. From then on, the ideas flew fast and furious. Due to the somewhat bizarre subject matter at hand, it was agreed by all that this film should be rendered as a grade-Z sci-fi flick. During the script-writing process, noted Godzilla movie aficionado Steven Schwalje was brought in as an advisor to help ensure that the screenplay would have a sufficiently high degree of Toho-style cheesiness. Furthermore, it was decided that Mr. Schwalje should play the part of The Scientist, since his proclivity to strike goofy poses and generally ham it up for the camera suited the character to a tee. There was some initial concern in having Schwalje, who was not a student in the film class, play such a prominent role in the film, but all reservations were abandoned once filming began and it became obvious that Schwalje was the only one who could successfully play the part. Then there were the issues of plot and related trivialities. It was envisioned that there would be one central character who would meet his match in the dust bunnies, but there remained the problem of introducing the dust bunnies to the viewer, and establishing them as an unstoppable destructive force. Mr. Garretson seemed obsessed with the idea of a movie- within-a-movie, a gimmick which was ultimately incorporated into the film, much to the dismay and confusion of most sensible viewers. The dubious reasoning behind this idea was that the film-within-the-film would parallel and supplement the goings-on in the foreground film. An intriguing device in theory, perhaps, but in execution, it was the root of the poor audio and video quality of many key scenes which would prove to be the greater of the film's two main liabilities. The other detriment was the sheer volume of dialogue, coupled with a scarcity of action or even activity; scenes involving the scientists turned out to be relentlessly talky, and therefore difficult for impatient viewers to endure, especially since the poor audio quality made it very difficult to discern any intelligible dialogue. Furthermore, because of their length, the two principle scientist scenes were difficult to film satisfactorily; there was too much dialogue to memorize in the time available. Mr. Chan, who played the scientist's assistant in these scenes, overcame this hurdle by actually holding the script -- in full view -- during the filming and surreptitiously glancing at it to ascertain his lines. This unorthodox approach to the problem proved effective, save for the rustling noises generated by the pages of the script which overpowered the already barely audible dialogue. A beneficial side effect of this solution was that Mr. Chan was able to conceal his occasional giggles by holding the script between his face and the camera. - unfinished - ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- #XIII. Conclusion ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This has been a FURRY FINGERS PRODUCTION ...hope you enjoyed reading it. Thanks to everyone who took the time to contribute to this wonderfully brilliant piece of pop culture ...hopefully it won't come back and haunt you. Any resemblance to a serious discussion is purely coincidental and should be discarded immediately (if not sooner). The Surgeon General has announced that prolonged exposure to this FAQL will result in irreversible brain damage and uncontrollable silliness. (Gee ... I guess I should have put this warning up at the beginning ... oh well, by now you are obviously at the same intellectual level as a retarded grape so at least you can't sue me). This message will self-destruct in 150,000 hours (mean time before disk fails). (WAS) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- END. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. Wait, one last question: why the hell did you guys waste so much time putting this useless file together? A. You figure it out; we're bitter. Push the button, Frank! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- *click* END. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This document Copyright (c) 1993 by its creators and contributors, named above. Permission is hereby granted to distribute this document freely, provided that it is kept in its entirety and is not modified in any way, save for compression or encoding as might be necessary for said distribution, and provided that no fee is charged for said distribution. Does that make any sense? Well, you know what we mean! Lots of trademarks are mentioned in this document; they are trademarks of their respective trademarkers, whom we wish not to offend! :) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ END, DAMMIT!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------ THIS IS TRULY THE END. THERE SHOULD BE NOTHING BELOW THIS LINE. -------