Do read the information provided by the festival organizers. Do pack everything recommended. These folks know what is available on site and what isn't. Don't forget the SUNSCREEN and INSECT REPELLENT. Pagan events are often at wooded sites and held during the summer. It gets hot and the bugs are everywhere.
When you first arrive at the festival site, look around. Find the First Aid Station. Find the bathroom facilities. Find the Security Station. Make sure your children know how to find these places, too. Make sure your children know where you are camped. Label the little ones who might wander off and get lost. Tape or pin something to the back of the child's shirt with your name and camping location. That way if they do get lost, someone can help them find their way back to Mom and Dad.
Do expect to see things you wouldn't see on Main Street. Clothing optional means just that. Many of us take advantage of the security provided by being with our pagan families to dress or undress in ways we would not dare do at home. Do expect to see same-sex couples and public displays of affection. If it bothers you, don't look. Remember, we are all here to have a good time.
Do expect to give a couple of hours of your festival time to making the festival run more smoothly. These folks are volunteers and they deserve a chance to have fun, too. They have put in many, many hours during the months preceding the festival to make sure we have a good time. Show up for your shift and do a good job.
Don't expect the children's activities to provided non-stop baby-sitting service. If your child needs supervision, expect to give it to him/her. If you are unable or unwilling to supervise your child, bring along a PAID baby-sitter or leave your child at home.
Don't expect festival security to be everywhere. Be a good neighbor. If you see something suspicious going on, investigate. Report it to the organizers. Do the same thing you would do if you saw something suspicious in your neighborhood.
If you see your neighbor doing something dumb, like leaving valuables lying around unprotected, mention it to him/her. Just because you're at a pagan festival does not give you permission to put away your common sense or your courtesy.
If you do bring children with you, tell them what to expect. If your children have never been exposed to nude or oddly dressed people, tell them about it in advance. Children can be very blunt with their observations and unintentionally cruel.
Keep an eye on your alcoholic beverages. Don't offer it to under-age people and don't leave it lying around where curious youngsters can help themselves. Make sure your children know the consequences of under-age drinking, not just for them, but for the entire festival. Getting busted for giving alcohol to a minor can result in the entire festival being shut down. Don't do it, folks.
Be responsible in your own alcohol use. If you're determined to get plastered, make sure at least one adult in your group is sober and willing to look out for those under the influence. And do your drinking in your own campsite. That way you don't have to stumble through everyone else's camps on the way back to your sleeping bag. Sharing a bottle of wine around the drum circle is pleasant, but restrict the number of times that bottle comes your way. Know your own limits. Don't spoil other people's fun with your drinking.
Remember that many pagans are in recovery. Not everyone wants to drink, is able to drink, or is comfortable with others' drinking.
Do remember that pagans follow varied paths. The workshops and rituals offered are coming from different traditions and may not be to your taste. If you are uncomfortable with something being done in a workshop or ritual, excuse yourself and leave. Don't blast the presenter for content that is different from what your tradition teaches.
Some workshops and rituals may be inappropriate for young children. If you have any doubts, ask beforehand.
Some activities are directed at women only or men only. Don't get put out because you are not allowed to attend a ritual or workshop specifically planned for the opposite sex. That's just the way it is, folks.
Some activities may be specifically sexual in nature (rare, but I have seen them advertised). If this bothers you, don't go! The presenter will not be offended if you don't show up. He or she will probably make sure everyone attending is of legal age. (So if your teen gets miffed at being tossed out of a workshop on Tantric magic, tell them to relax and wait a few years.)
Remember personal safety: Watch out for campfires, fire pits, tent stakes, sharp rocks, too much sun, poison ivy/oak/sumac, stinging insects, etc. Just because we're in a magickal space, doesn't mean the real world is gone. Rocks, bugs and plants are natural and magickal. Magickal people can do dumb things.
What all this boils down to is this: When you pack you ritual tools and clothes with your camping gear and head for your first (or twentieth) pagan festival, don't forget to pack your common sense and courtesy along with you. Follow standard safety rules, take care of yourself and your children, and be aware of what's going on around you.
Gatherings of any kind are going to attract some people that don't fit in with the group. If they are pleasant but confused, help them out. If they are hostile and confused, offer to help them understand. But if they are acting in ways that can lead to problems for others, point them out to the festival organizers so they can deal with them before something bad happens.
Perhaps a few words on ritual tools: "Many people bring their personal ritual tools or drums to gatherings. Some of these items are specially consecrated tools which have never been handled by any other person. Please respect this. If you see something interesting, elegant, or just plain pretty sitting about in someone's area, ask permission before you examine it. Be prepared to be gracious if the owner declines."
Also a word on photography and videos: "Sharing photographs or videos with your friends can be lots of fun, but don't allow your enthusiasm to overcome your sense of courtesy. Ask permission of every single person who will be in any picture before taking videos or photographs. If in a ritual, ask permission before the ritual space is established. Recording or photographing large rituals from outside the ritual space is downright rude. Finally, understand that people who are enjoying the clothing-optional space may not appreciate being photographed at all. Consider this advice seriously, because your privilege to photograph ends when it impinges on other peoples privacy. Event organizers really don't like having to deal with the complaints which result from discourteous shutterbugging, and are quite likely to ask the would-be photographer to leave."
Anahita - anahita@aol.com