From: john-paul.phillips@midkent.ac.uk (john-paul phillips)
Subject: A tasteless (extremely) sick one
Date: Fri, 20 Oct 95 14:04:52 GMT

WARNING>>> Dont even think about reading this at meal times.




There's this landlord who runs a very popular pub. Every day and night he's 
rushed off his feet. Well one night it's not so busy and he thinks "Great, I 
can get to bed nice and early if I kick everyone out on time."

So closing time comes and he gets rid of everyone really quickly, locks all 
the doors, and has his final check round the pub.

All of a sudden there's banging at the door so he goes to the door and unlocks 
it. Outside there's this tramp.

"Don't s'pose you gotta toofpick mate?" says the tramp.

"Hold on" says the landlord, "I'll get you one".

So the landlord goes behind the bar gets a toothpick, returns to the door and 
hands it to the tramp.

"Many thanks guv" says the tramp, "you're a real sport" and with that he turns 
and leaves.

The landlord thinks "Thank Christ for that", locks the door, and turns out all 
the lights, and is just about to go upstairs when he hears this banging at the 
door. He goes to the door, unlocks it and outside there's another tramp.

"Don't s'pose you gotta toofpick mate?" says the tramp.

"Hold on" says the landlord, "I'll get you one".

So the landlord goes behind the bar gets a toothpick, returns to the door and 
hands it to the tramp.

"Many thanks" says the tramp, "you're a real diamond" and with that he turns 
and leaves.

The landlord locks the door, turns out the lights, and heads for bed. He gets 
almost to the top of the stairs when he hears this banging at the door.

"What the hell's going on" he yells, as he goes to the door. He opens the door 
and there's another tramp standing there.

"Hold on a minute, Ill get you one" says the landlord.

"One what?" says the tramp.

"A toothpick" replies the landlord.

"I don wanna toofpick" says the tramp, "I wanna straw!"

This confused the landlord so he says

"What on earth do you want a straw for at this time of night?"

"Well" says the tramp, "Some bloke's Yakked up out here an' all the good bits 
ave gone!"




For those of you who are unsure what yakked (not yank'ed although there's not 
much in it!) actually means:- It's a way of saying BEEN SICK. 

Has anyone got any other words or phrases that mean similar things. Here's a 
few that I know:-

Yakked.

Puked.

Chucked up.

Chundered.

Driving a porcelain porsche.

Techni-colour yawn.

Pebble-dashing the bog.


Any others would be much appreciated.