Space. The Defiant shoots past, rolling to avoid a stream of phaser fire emanating from one of two pursuing Jem'Hadar vessels. Cut to the bridge. Dax at helm: "That was close. I'm running out of evasive tactics. I'm open to suggestions." Odo: "Just think of Doctor Bashir. That should refresh your memory." Sisko: "Odo." Admiral Nechayev: "Prepare to execute the Nechayev Manoeuvre. You'll find it preprogrammed into the navigational computer. On my mark." She leans toward Sisko. "You can be sure they've never seen this one before." Odo: "Do you intend to alienate them all via official subspace channel?" Sisko: "Odo, please." Nechayev turns back toward the viewscreen, a small, dark plume of smoke rising from the crown of her head. "Helm. Initiate." The Defiant decelerates suddenly, flips 180 degrees, heads directly toward the lead pursuer, allowing the Jem'Hadar weapons the briefest time possible to lock on, veers away at the last instant, and, just in the moment when the two Jem'Hadar and the Defiant describe a straight line, accelerates to warp nine, causing the two Jem'Hadar to fire on one another, disabling them both. Nechayev: "You were saying?" Sisko (coming around between the viewscreen and the helm console): "Well done, Admiral. Dax, perhaps you'd better scan for Gowron's ship." Dax: "I have a fix on it." Nechayev: "Intercept, top speed." Dax: "ETA fourteen minutes." Nechayev: "I'll be in my quarters." She leaves. Dax (leaning forward and whispering): "Captain Sulu used that move more than eighty years ago." Sisko: "All the best ones come out of his logs. As they say, 'Good commanders borrow, admirals rename.'" Odo: "Or as Quark might put it, 'Time heals all copyright restrictions.'" Sisko (the muscles in his forehead bunching visibly): "Which side of the bucket did you wake up in this morning, anyway?" View of the Defiant shooting off on its new heading. The hold of the Klingon K'Vort-class Bird of Prey. The rectangular shape of the percheron-powered interdimensional gateway gives off a ghostly pale glow in the dark, empty space. (It's really Stage 18 at Paramount.) A hand reaches out of the gateway, followed quickly by the rest of a Klingon -- Duras! His sister Marguerite follows closely. Duras stands there admiring his limbs and torso, amazed at this resurrection. "porgh vIghaj. 'ach Sub'a'." ["I have a body. But is it solid?"] Marguerite delivers a right cross, knocking his head sideways. He smiles, further splitting the lip. "majQa'." Marguerite: "Dujvam wIghaj. nuH chuqDaq ghaHtaH Gowron'e'. pIHbe'. wIQawlaH." ["We have this ship. Gowron is within weapons range. He suspects nothing. We can destroy him."] Duras: "yIghoS." ["Proceed!"] They exit. For a moment the stage is empty. Then a swirl of light appears on the deck. It grows, sending out beams, as if a crack is opening in the floor, and suddenly the figure of the Door Fek'lhr shoots upward with a howl. The Fek'lhr opens and closes its clawed hands, rolling its head and snapping its slathering jaws. "lughHa' vay'. lojmItvam. mubHa' 'oH. bortaSwIj vIneH." ["Something is wrong. This door! It is illegal! I will have my revenge!"] The Door Fek'lhr grabs the doorframe and plunges into the rectangle of light. The camera swings around the doorframe as the Fek'lhr goes through and in a skilful wipe we see the creature step out into the Dark Forest in the same motion. The Fek'lhr looks around, tasting the air. "lojmIt tI'wI' 'Iw vIlargh." ["I smell the blood of a door repairman."] The Door Fek'lhr moves off into the forest. We approach a planetary system. The great bulk of a gaseous giant fills the upper half of the screen. A jagged asteroid rolls by, revealing the words: Star Trek: Door Repair Guy A tiny companion moon tumbles after, revealing the word: Starring We close in on a planetoid, and as the mottled surface speeds across the screen we read: Door Repair Guy as Himself Avery Brooks as Commander Benjamin Sisko Rene Auberjonois as Odo Terry Farrell as Lieutenant Jadzia Dax Nana Visitor as Major Kira Colm Meaney as O'Brien Armin Shimerman as Quark Cirroc Lofton as Jake Sisko Robert O'Reilly as Gowron Sara Gilbert as Marguerite Duras Kevin Conway as Emperor Kahless Robert Herron as Kahless the Unforgettable Natalia Nogulich as Admiral Nechayev Salome Jens as the Founder Dennis Christopher as Borath We crash. What? We passed right through that planet! It must be some kind of holographic projection! Talk about luck! Eh? What do you mean the stars are coming up fast? I never heard of anything so ridiculous! Do you think we somehow got inside of some kind of enormous Dyson sphere planetarium or something and are about to impact on the curved interior surface? Do you seriously expect me to believe-- Wham. [Commercial: Batman Forever/McDonald's] The gleaming surface of the Great Link swells and rises into the form of the spokeswoman of the Founders. She fixes her gaze on the newly arrived Borath. "They gave you the shake, didn't they?" "Si, donna. Our ships were needed to subdue the Klingon vessel. When there were too few remaining the Defiant fled." "Where is it now?" "It goes to join the vessels at the gateway." "This has been a valuable learning experience. Next time we shall not underestimate the Klingons. We also have a better idea of the state of Federation's interdimensionality. And we know that Odo is amenable to further contact. It is time to bring the action to a close. Shortly you will have enough ships to make them all cut and run for the Alpha Quadrant. Oh, here. Deliver that, would you?" Borath takes the postcard and the spokeswoman melts back into the Great Link. He reads and sighs. SORRY WE MISSED YOU, ODO. SEE YOU NEXT TIME. LOVE, THE FOUNDERS. He twists the card in his hands and sings: Quanto e bella, quanto e cara! Piu la vedo e piu mi piace, ma in quel cor non son capace lieve affetto ad inspiar. The two Kahlesses walk together through the fields of Sto- Vo-Kor. Kahless the Unforgettable: "ghaH DaHoHbe' 'ej woQDaj DaboSbe'. qatlh." ["Why do you not simply kill him and take power for yourself?"] Emperor Kahless: "bov Huj. wo' vIbuSnIS. ngoch luSIgh novpu'. chaH vIyajbe'. ["Strange times. I must think of the Empire. Aliens influence policy. I don't understand them."] Kahless the Unforgettable: "teH 'oH. novpu' Da tlhInganpu' Qup. SeyqSpIyr. nuq." ["It is true. Young Klingons imitate foreign ways. Shakespeare. What's that all about?"] The Emperor prudently develops temporary deafness, choosing instead to embroider his last point: "motlhbe'. tera'nganpu'. romuluSnganpu'." ["They are unusual. Humans. Romulans."] Kahless the Unforgettable: "qaqeS. He yIleH. chut yIHub. ghawron yIngaq. lujchugh ghaH vaj ghaH yItam. voDleHvo' ghoS woQDaj 'e' yIghojmoH. qorDu' yIchenmoH." ["I'll tell you what. Stay the course. Maintien le droit. Support Gowron. If he fails, replace him. Make him understand that his power comes from the Emperor. Have heirs."] Emperor Kahless: "voDleH qorDu'. qeSlIj QaQ. vIlob." ["A royal family. Your advice is good. I will obey it."] Kahless the Unforgettable: "yIlegh." ["Look."] They turn and look across the valley. In the distance there's a disturbance of some kind. Something is moving rapidly through the crowd, throwing Klingons into the air as it approaches. They stand and watch as the phenomenon veers this way and that and finally heads straight in their direction. The Door Fek'lhr charges up to them. Fek'lhr: "qatu'. Seng. Dud 'u'mey. chegh SuvwI'pu'. mIS Hoch." ["There you are. Trouble. Universes overlap. Warriors return. Everything is confused."] Emperor Kahless: "DuraS. ghaH cheghta' be'nI'Daj. mulo'ta'." ["Duras! His sister has brought him back! She has used me!"] Kahless the Unforgettable: "bIngoy'." ["You are responsible."] Emperor Kahless: "vItI'." ["I'll fix it/him/her."] He heads off into the crowd. Kahless the Unforgettable: "cheghta'DI' DuraS vaj lojmIt yIQaw'." ["When Duras has returned, destroy the gateway."] Fek'lhr: "chaq. DaH lojmIt tI'wI' ghotvetlh vItu'nIS." ["Maybe. Right now I have to find that Door Repair Guy."] The creature heads off. Kahless the Unforgettable: "'ej DaH jIvangnIS." ["And right now I have something to do."] He starts off through the crowd. [Commercial: Congo/Taco Bell] Door Repair Guy and a crowd of fans move through the great tournament that is Sto-Vo-Kor. "SeyqSpIyr," asks one wide-eyed Klingon, "QIStover marlo' DaHegh'a'. vaj qatlh." ["Shakespeare, did you kill Christopher Marlowe? If so, why?"] DRG: "'oH poQ ghaH." ["He asked for it."] Fan: "mInDaq DaDuQ'a'." ["You stabbed him in the eye?"] DRG: "qabwIj berghmoH ghaH." ["He was in my face."] Second fan: "qablIj berghmoH SoH. Ha ha ha ha ha." ["You got in his face! Ha ha ha ha ha!!"] Third fan: "pelegh." ["Look."] A tornado-phenomenon veers this way and that across the plain, throwing dust and Klingons skyward as it goes. It swings downwind of the observers, hovers, and then heads straight for them. The Door Fek'lhr comes to a sudden screeching halt and covers them all with dust and spit as it gestures at Door Repair Guy and exclaims: Door Fek'lhr: "jIpum." ["J'accuse!"] DRG: "va. Seng." ["Oh, oh. Trouble."] First fan: "qatlh SeyqSpIyr pum veqlargh." ["Why does the Fek'lhr accuse Shakespeare?"] Door Fek'lhr: "nepwI' ghaH. pongvetlh ghajbe' ghaH. ["He is a liar! He does not own that name!"] Second fan: "vranSiS bey'qon SoH'a'." ["You are Francis Bacon?"] Door Fek'hlr: "lojmIt tI'wI' ghot 'oH pongDaj'e'. chamwI' ghaH. ghaH naDHa'ta' lojmItHuSwI'pu'. ghe''orDaq vInge'." ["His name is Door Repair Guy. A technician. The doorhangers have discommended him. I will take him to the dwelling place of the dishonoured."] The Klingons take a collective backward step at this news. Third fan: "petaQ." ["Scurvy knave."] DRG: "Samej." ["I leave you."] [_All's Well That End's Well_, Act II, scene iii, lines 263-64.] (Scrams.) First fan: "SeyqSpIyrDaj Sov ghaH." ["He knows his Shakespeare."] Second fan: "SeyqSpIyrchaj luSov tera'nganpu' law'." ["Many Humans know their Shakespeare."] Third fan: "'ach chaH DISuvrup maH." ["But we are prepared to fight them."] First fan: "vaj ghaH wISuvrup maH." ["Then we are prepared to fight him."] Second fan: "jIQochbe'." ["I agree."] Third: "Ha'." ["Come on."] They chase after Door Repair Guy, leaving the Door Fek'lhr shaking its head in disbelief. "HeHchaj luchIlchu' ghotpu'vetlh." ["Those guys are definitely losing their edge."] [Commercial: Levi's/Braveheart] A corridor in the Durases' K'Vort-class Bird of Prey. A Klingon technician clanks along the grillwork walkway and activates the pressure door to the next section. The door hisses open to reveal Marguerite and Duras. Duras steps forward, pushing the astonished crewman aside as he goes. The two siblings pass by, activate the door at the far end of the corridor and step through, pausing momentarily to look back and smirk at the amazement of the Klingon. The door closes. The technician puts his hand to his chin and thinks about what he's just witnessed. The door beside him hisses open and the Emperor Kahless comes through. Emperor Kahless: "DuraS Dalegh'a'." ["Did you see Duras?"] Crewman (dazed): "HISlaH." [(In formal Klingon) "Yes".] Emperor Kahless: "nuq bIQub'a'." ["What do you think?"] Crewman (pause): "lughHa' 'oH." ["It is wrong."] Emperor Kahless: "'ach DuraSpu' Dangaq." ["But you support the Durases."] The Klingon looks long into the Emperor's face. "lughHa' 'oH." ["It is wrong."] The Emperor nods, a slow smile of satisfaction spreading across his countenance. He shifts his gaze toward the bridge. A clearing in the Dark Forest. At first all is quiet. Then Door Repair Guy dashes into the middle of the shot, comes to a sudden stop, tumbles head over heels with the momentum, looks behind him to see if he's being followed, sees that he is, winds up and dashes out of the shot below the elevated camera with a look of sheer fright on his face. A Klingon dashes into the shot from the same direction DRG came, stops in the same place, crouches and peers in the direction DRG has gone, sees him, points and makes a "Come on, come on" gesture back in the direction he came, and then another Klingon, then another two, then another fifteen, then another hundred and twelve, dash into the glade filling it with running Klingons. They crowd out of the shot after DRG, gradually emptying the set. Then one little Klingon dashes into the clearing, looks in all directions, and dashes out again in the same direction as everybody else. [Commercial: Crimson Tide/Tide] [Bob: Shot of Bob on the tarmac at the Uplands airbase in front of the Purolator jet. "Okay! We're at the National Capital Airshow here at Canadian Forces Base Uplands and I'm in front of the Purolator jet -- it's an entire passenger jet made over for cargo! -- they took all the seats out! -- there they are at the end of the runway! and" -- (keeps talking but is drowned out by a USAF Starlifter taking off in the background) -- "and all the great people from the National Capital Freenet who volunteered to sell tickets and make hotdogs and whoa a million other things" -- (drowned out by USAF Galaxy lifting off) -- "and we have a clip of that, so roll that clip." Shot of stuntman climbing off the top of a blue and yellow biplane onto the landing gear of a helicopter flying in close formation. Voiceover: (loud prolonged yodel of fear). "Back to Door --" (drowned out by B2 bomber taking off).] [Commercial: Bridges of Madison County/Polident] View of the Duras ship nose-to-nose with Gowron's Vor'cha attack cruiser. Cut to the Vor'cha's bridge. Gowron strides in, adjusts his belt, and takes the command chair. "yIja'." ["Report."] "DuraSpu' tojtaH tamaj." ["Our recording continues to fool the Durases."] Exterior view of Duras ship unleashing a photon torpedo. It traverses the short distance between the two ships and detonates against the Vor'cha's shields. The bridge rocks. Gowron and his officers are all thrown from their seats. Gowron, pulling himself up by the arm of the command chair: "qul chegh." ["Return fire!"] View of the Vor'cha and K'Vort unleashing their stocks of photons torpedoes at each other's shields. Bridge of the K'Vort. Duras is in the command chair, rocking back and forth with each blast, and grinning. "qo' Dun." ["It's a wonderful world."] The door hisses open and Kahless enters. Kahless: "targhwIj mach vInej." ["I'm looking for my little targ."] Duras, turning in his chair: "nuq." ["What?"] Kahless: "DaH ghaH vItu'ta'." ["Now I've found him."] Duras: "voDleH vIpoQbe'." ["I don't need an Emperor."] Kahless: "'e' DaQub'a'." ["Do you think so?"] Duras: "petaQ. tlhon." ["Scurvy knave. Clone."] Marguerite (nervously): "loDnI'." ["Brother."] Duras: "toywI'. ghargh." ["Servant. Worm."] Marguerite: "DuraS." ["Duras. . ."] Duras flares his nostril and points toward it disrespectfully. Kahless: "yIyep. DaqaD 'e' Dayajbe'." ["Be careful. You don't realize who you're dealing with."] Kahless picks up Duras, throws him over his shoulder, and heads out the door. Marguerite makes a quick gesture to the bridge crew to stay at their stations. She hisses: "peSuvtaH." ["Keep fighting!"] The camera swings around the two battling vessels. Cut to the Dark Forest. DRG comes dashing up to the interdimensional gateway. The Door Fek'lhr steps in front of the glowing rectangle, blocking his way. DRG, seeing this just in time, dashes back into the forest, followed by the Fek'lhr. In the corridor leading to the hold Kahless with the struggling Duras over his shoulder passes the Emperor Kahless, who has just completed his conversation with the ethical technician. Emperor Kahless: "yayvetlh vIneHpu'." ["I wanted to do that."] Kahless the Unforgettable: "yayraj 'oH." ["You did it."] He hits a door control and disappears with Duras through the opening doorway on his way to the hold. The Emperor Kahless enters the rocking bridge. Marguerite and the others don't say a word, sensing the truth of what has just transpired but not wanting to cross such a well-connected fellow. Kahless advances toward Marguerite. They come face to face. Emperor Kahless: "chonay'a'." ["Will you marry me?"] Marguerite: "chaq." ["I might."] Emperor Kahless: "'oH yIbuS." ["Think about it."] He points to the transporter chief. "SoH. ghawron DujDaq HIjol." ["You! Transport me to Gowron's ship."] "yoDmeychaj." ["Their shields!"] "tIQotlh." ["Disable them!"] The transporter chief looks to the gunner, who looks to his diminishing arsenal and increases the rate of fire. Shot of all this ordnance erupting from the K'vort and battering the Vor'cha's shields. On the bridge of the approaching Defiant Dax is reading her tactical display. "Admiral, Gowron's ship is in combat with a second Klingon vessel. It's the ship that kidnapped our missing door repair man. They're giving each other everything they've got." Nechayev: "Hailing frequencies. Klingon vessels! Cease fire at once and set course for the wormhole. You are in a Jem'Hadar trap." "No response." "Put a shot across their bows." "Torpedo away." Shot of the two Klingon vessels pounding each other with photon torpedoes and beams of phaser fire. The Federation torpedo sails through the fire fight and dwindles away unnoticed. Odo: "They seem to be preoccupied." Nechayev: "I'm not used to being treated like this. Helm, put us between the two ships." Sisko jumps forward and thinks fast. "Admiral, that's a gutsy move. But are you sure we can afford to deprive the Federation of our valuable intelligence?" "Can we afford the destabilisation of the Klingon Empire? Gowron has to listen, and I'm going to make him!" She steps forward and punches in the requisite commands. The Defiant shoots forward toward the gap. On the K'Vort, the gunner exclaims, "QaD pu'DaH. ratlh wa' peng. pum yoDmey. 'ej pum Vor'cha yoDmey. jIbaH'a'." ["Phaser banks are dry! One torpedo remains! Shields are falling! Vor'cha's shields are also falling. Should I fire?"] Marguerite: "ghobe'." ["No."] Kahless smiles and points to the transporter chief. On the Vor'cha, the gunner turns and shouts, a little nervously: "joHwI'. luj pu'DaH. ratlh pagh cha. pum yoDmey." ["My lord! Phaser banks failing! No torpedoes remain! There go the shields!"] Gowron rises from his chair, about to speak. The Emperor Kahless materializes in front of him and decks him with a right uppercut. Emperor: "qa'Su'meywIj tISopQo'." ["Don't eat my cashews."] The Emperor turns to the bridge crew, his foot on Gowron. "Dotlh." ["Status."] "pagh nuH. pagh yoDmey. naDev ghoS DIvI' Duj." ["No weapons! No shields! Federation vessel approaching!"] Emperor: "DIvI''a'." ["Federation, eh?"] Cut to the glade in the Dark Forest. Kahless the Unforgettable emerges from the gateway with Duras still over his shoulder. He sees the Door Fek'lhr. Kahless the Unforgettable: "ghotvam yInge'." ["Take this guy."] Door Fek'lhr: "lojmIt tIwI' vIneH." ["I want the door repairman!"] Kahless the Unforgettable: "Grrrrrr." Door Fek'lhr: "bIqabchugh." ["If you insist."] The Fek'lhr takes Duras and disappears into the underworld. Duras: "A-a-a-a-r-g-g-g-g-h-h-h-h!!!!!!" DRG sees his opportunity, dashes out of the woods for the gateway, and flies through. Several hundred Klingons come dashing up, but Kahless takes a position in front of the gateway and holds up his hands for silence. Kahless the Unforgettable: "jupoymeywI'. Sto-Vo-KorDaq tlhIH lIqemta' batlh. tera'ngan bowoD tlhIH 'e' raD batlh. pItlh. Sto-Vo-Kor bomej tItlh boneH'a'." ["My dear friends. Honour has brought you to Sto-Vo-Kor. Honour compels you to expel the human. This you have done. Do you wish to leave Sto- Vo-Kor?"] Klank: "Qo'. naDev wIparHa'." ["No! We like it here!"] Noises of agreement. Kahless: "majQa'." The next moment the glowing rectangle behind him blinks out of existence. We jump back a moment in time as DRG leaps through the gateway into the hold of the K'Vort, rolls once or twice, then gets up, dusts off his knees, realizes after a tense moment or two that no one is following him, then notices that he's hungry, goes over to the replicator and orders heart of targ with a side order of fries, brings the dish back over to the gateway and stands there in amazement as he begins to eat. "Man!" Shot of the Defiant taking position between the two Klingon vessels. Cut to the Defiant's bridge. Nechayev: "You see, Commander, they respect the Federation alliance too much to fire on us. Get me Gowron." The viewscreen reveals an unusually bleary Gowron. The leader of the ruling council weaves and sways. Admiral Nechayev: "Gowron. Surely you must see the importance of a strong, unified Klingon Empire. This cannot be expected if the Jem'Hadar manage to overwhelm your ship without even the story of your honourable defeat surviving." Gowron (though the movements of his mouth do not seem to match his words): *Yes, I see your point. Time to turn for home.* Nechayev: "A refreshing perspective. I'll see you on the other side of the wormhole." Cut to the bridge of the K'Vort. Marguerite swings toward the camera in the command chair. "lojmIt yIwoD. gharghjuHDaq. Do naQ." ["Jettison gateway. Full warp speed to wormhole."] View of DRG and the interdimensional gateway dematerializing in a Klingon transporter effect. Cut to open space. DRG and the gateway rematerialize off the starboard bow of the K'Vort-class Bird of Prey. The vessel draws away from the Vor'cha attack cruiser and the Defiant, applies thrusters, and elasticizes into warp. The Emperor drops Gowron and clomps off through the bridge door. Gowron sways to his feet, blinks, puts two and two together and exclaims: "yItlha'. Do naQ." ["Pursue! Full warp speed!"] The Vor'cha turns, elasticizes, and warps off in pursuit. Cut to Defiant. Dax glances quickly from point to point on her console. "Admiral. Forty-seven Jem'Hadar vessels decloaking." Nechayev: "Wormhole. Full warp speed." Odo: "What about our missing crewman?" Sisko: "He'll just have to make do where he is." Odo: "He's up on half a dozen noise by-law violations. Surely you don't intend to let him get away?" Nechayev (staring): "Have you been paying attention at all?" Dax: "Engaging." Defiant turns and warps off, leaving the glowing rectangle of the percheron-powered interdimensional gateway afloat in space. The camera closes in on DRG who now finds himself afloat in the vacuum of space just four feet away from the slowly rotating gateway. His ears pop. He lets go of the plate of heart of targ and fries and the dish wobbles toward the bright rectangle and disappears through it. He turns his mind back to his emergency vacuum conditions training course and gradually realizes that he was too busy customizing his Heroes of Bolian Heavy Metal holodeck programme at the time. (Not enough Swedes.) He perceives that he should have released the heart of targ in the opposite direction because he is now drifting away from the gateway which itself is slowly turning over and over with the naturally occurring percheron power source sliding from corner to corner threatening to separate entirely from its doorframe and render the gateway inoperable. Just as the anomaly begins to form a globe in the upper-left-hand corner of the doorframe and quiver like a drop of water on the end of a leaf DRG remembers, long after you did, that he has a pre-Zekware model personal transporter device installed in his left forearm. He focuses his attention on the gateway, now difficult to see through his crystallizing eyeballs, activates the control, and disappears in a Borg transporter effect just as the anomaly slips out of the doorframe and the gateway goes dead. The next instant a Jem'Hadar warship swoops past and blows the doorframe to smithereens. [Commercial: Johnny Mnemonic/UPS] (That one works on two levels.) The wormhole opens and the Duras K'Vort-class Bird of Prey emerges -- right into the middle of a Federation armada. The Klingon vessel cruises forward, piloting its way among the Nebula-class Sutherland, the New Orleans-class Rutledge, the antique Soyuz-class Bozeman, the Ambassador-class Gandhi, the venerable Hood, the intelligent-eyed Argo, the redoutable Ox, the swift Antelope, the active Bee, the fun-loving Rio de Janiero, and the serious-minded Jones, among others. The bridge of the Gandhi. Admiral Nakamura is there. Nakamura: "Klingon vessel. Do you carry any news of the USS Defiant? We urgently require a conference concerning any Jem'Hadar activities you may have witnessed in the Gamma Quadrant." The Klingon vessel maintains radio silence but moves in behind the Gandhi as if seeking protection. The next moment Gowron's Vor'cha-class attack cruiser appears out of the wormhole. Admiral Nakamura is about to open his mouth again when the tactical officer behind him shouts: "Bird of Prey firing!" The camera sweeps along the side of the Gandhi toward the Bird of Prey lurking between its nacelles. A red photon torpedo erupts from the K'Vort's forward torpedo tube, pursues a twinkling course along the engineering hull of the Starfleet ship, crosses the space toward the oncoming Vor'cha, and takes a big chunk out of its secondary hull, to the surprise of all. Bridge of the Duras ship. Marguerite pumps her fist. "pItlh." ["He shoots, he scores!"] She turns, points to the helmsman, jerks her thumb over her shoulder, and settles down into her command chair. The Bird of Prey tumbles over and, using the bulk of the Federation ship for cover, warps off for parts unknown. The viewscreen on the Gandhi is covered with static, which gradually clears to reveal the wide-open-eyed visage of an incensed Gowron. Gowron: *What is the meaning of this outrage?* Nakamura: "Ah . . ." The wormhole opens again and disgorges the USS Defiant. *Admiral Nechayev to Admiral Nakamura. We are being pursued by forty-seven Jem'Hadar vessels. Ready weapons.* The ships of the fleet move into battle formation, train their weapons on the wormhole's coordinates and wait. Eighteen hours later they stand down. The corridor outside Door Repair Guy's quarters. Dax and Odo stand by as an agent from Starfleet Security applies yellow police tape to the door. Perceptive viewers will recognize the Bad Cop from DRG's vision in episode 025. Dax: "Where do you think he is now?" Odo: "Out of jurisdiction, perhaps, but not out of mind. I've just received a communication from Starfleet Security about certain . . . coincidences associated with his movements. I'd say, from his point of view, it's better he's not around." Dax (because the writers haven't given her a line to get out of the scene with): (raises eyebrow). A livid Quark is deposited at Station Ops via turbolift. "I haven't been on camera for three episodes!" Kira: "Oh, pipe down. You'd think you were Cirroc Lofton." The turbolift deposits Jake Sisko. Kira: "Oh. Sorry, kid. But think for a moment of the sacrifices of those brave Klingons who gave their lives to protect the Alpha Quadrant. I'd say the problems of a few out- of-work actors pale in comparison." No sooner are the words out of her mouth than the wormhole opens and disgorges an impossibly damaged K't'inga cruiser towing an even more completely demolished Jem'Hadar ship. O'Brien: "Jaysis Murphy. It's the wreck of the Hesperus." Kira: "This is DS9 hailing Klingon vessel. Do you require assistance?" The image of the K't'inga-class battle cruiser's assistant cook comes on the viewscreen. You can actually see open space through the blast holes in the bridge behind her. Assistant cook: *yIDoH. vIghaj.* [*Back off. This one's mine.*] View of the K't'inga and its prize crawling past DS9 toward the Klingon Empire. The sickbay in what appears to be a Klingon vessel. Door Repair Guy opens first one eye and then the other. His vision is still pretty cloudy. A figure advances toward him and thrusts the plate of targ and fries at him. "nuq Hech'a'." ["What is the meaning of this?"] DRG looks up, way up, the commanding figure in Klingon armour, noting with a slight stab of panic as he passes out the curving tusks on the targ-like snout. ------------ Written by Douglas A. McLeod, ai919@ncf.carleton.ca ------------ -- The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of Krell and Brothers, Doorhangers, or of the Klingon Guild of Doorhangers. }}:-) Douglas A.McLeod ai919@freenet.carleton.ca )-:{{